We’ve all heard the stories. Some of us have even seen how stories of friends, family, neighbors, and colleagues have been impacted by extra-marital affairs. Many of those extra-marital affairs led to marriages that eventually failed due to subsequent affairs.

We’ve all heard it said, “Once a cheater, always a cheater.” but is it true? According to a study from the University of Denver, research suggests there is solid evidence that it is.

Some research projects that 30 to 60% of all married individuals in the U.S. will engage in infidelity at some point during their marriage. This translates into nearly 80% of all American marriages being impacted by cheating. This is a sad statistic by any standard.

Dr. Frank Pittman, author of Private Lies: Infidelity and the Betrayal of Intimacy and Elizabeth Landers, said second marriages that began with infidelity are likely to fail within two years. There are no guarantees second marriages that begin as affairs will fail but the available research and data strongly support such outcomes statistically speaking.

For the University of Denver study, which was published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, researchers had nearly 500 people answer questions about at least two different romantic relationships. Of the participants, 44 percent reported having sex with someone outside of their current relationship during their study.

So, why do so many married people pursue happiness through infidelity and affairs? It’s quite simple. They are blinded by their pursuit of self-gratification and the belief that they are an unfortunate victim seeking happiness. The irony is, in their pursuit of happiness they destroy their lives as they burn down the foundations of trust and fidelity which leads to pain and suffering for their families, children, and eventually themselves.

Marriages that Begin as Affairs are Three Times as Likely to End by Affairs

People who had cheated before were much more prone to infidelity and unfaithfulness. A lot more likely. Those who cheated in their first relationship were three times (3x) more likely to cheat again.

Many believe that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. Someone with a long history of infidelity, across multiple relationships, is more likely to repeat that past behavior. Either way, science strongly suggests the odds of being cheated on by a cheater are very high.

These predictors are just one of many reasons why marriages that start as affairs fail. Statistically speaking, marriages that begin as affairs are only happy and successful about 1% of the time. A 1% chance is not a winning hand to bet your marriage, life, children, and family on.

Recovering From Infidelity

If you have experienced infidelity-induced trauma caused by the emotional and sexual betrayal of your spouse, there is hope! If you are a child affected by parental infidelity, there is hope! If you are a spouse who has betrayed the trust, love, and fidelity of your marriage, there is hope! We recommend that you seek support through professional counseling and therapy as well as through groups dedicated to supporting you through this traumatic journey. You are not alone and recovery and healing are possible!

Share Your Story

The CHADIE Foundation shares personal stories of spouses and children impacted by infidelity and affairs. If you have a story you would like to share and have published, please use the contact information below to share your story with The CHADIE Foundation. Our mission is to help educate everyone about the damage infidelity, affairs, and adultery cause families and how to minimize the impact.

About CHADIE Foundation

The CHADIE Foundation (Children are Harmed by Adultery, Divorce, Infidelity, and related Emotional trauma), helps spouses, partners, and children who have been negatively impacted by adultery, affairs, and infidelity. To learn more about CHADIE and how you can help, please email us at support@chadie.org or us at CHADIE.org.