Unless you have been living off-planet, you have probably heard of the new Amazon series, “The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power.” Amazon bought the television rights for The Lord of the Rings for US$250 million in November 2017, making a five-season production commitment worth at least $1 billion. To date, it is the most expensive television series ever made.

The series is set thousands of years before the events of The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings, the series is based on author J. R. R. Tolkien’s history of Middle-earth. It begins during a time of relative peace and covers all the major events of Middle-earth’s Second Age: the forging of the Rings of Power, the rise of the Dark Lord Sauron, the fall of the island kingdom of Númenor, and the last alliance between Elves and Men.

As I’ve watched the series unfold, I’ve reflected on the meaning of rings and their history. I am not one for wearing jewelry but have worn, without fail, my wedding ring for more than 20 years. That said, in a week or so I will be removing my wedding ring forever as my divorce is finalized. Back in May 2021, I was informed of my wife’s infidelity and adultery with a married man which led to my filing for divorce. While the divorce has been drawn out, complicated, and full of the worst that my spouse and her adultery partner’s infidelity and adultery offers, I chose to continue wearing my wedding (band) ring even though my wife stopped wearing her ring almost a year ago and hadn’t been honoring her marriage vows and covenants nor the symbolism of the engagement and wedding ring she chose with me.

In the “The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power” series, the premise is the rings will be forged and endowed with great power. The idea of rings holding great power is not new.

The History and Power of Rings

Today wedding or marriage (bands) rings can be the most powerful and romantic piece of jewelry that one wears. They are filled with emotional significance. This emotional significance has been the case for much longer than one may think. There is archaeological evidence suggesting that ancient Egyptians were exchanging wedding rings as far back as 4000 BC.

While historic records are not complete, the first wedding rings can be traced back to the Ancient Egyptians when they exchanged rings made from braided reeds and hemp. They placed these rings on the fourth finger of the left hand as they believed that there was a “vein of love” that ran from this finger directly to your heart.

It was the Egyptian pharaohs who first used rings to represent eternity. That’s because a circle has no beginning and no end, and reflects the shape of the sun and the moon, which the Egyptians worshipped. The Egyptians also thought that the open space in the middle of a ring represented a gateway to the unknown. The Egyptian ouroboros (oor-uh-boor-ros) rings portrayed a serpent swallowing its tail, representing the eternal cycle of things. The ouroboros is one of the oldest symbols in the world, and its name means “tail devourer” in Greek. Known as the oldest allegorical symbol in alchemy, the ouroboros represented the concept of eternity and endless return.

The Ancient Greeks and Romans also wore rings. Their early rings were made from leather, bone, or ivory. It was during this time that the tradition of metal bands began and iron wedding rings began being worn. For those wealthy, gold and silver bands were used to mark a marriage.

Engagement and wedding rings, in the past as now, symbolize commitment, love, honor, integrity, and devotion. Throughout history, rings have been used to symbolize everything from devotion, fidelity, and eternity, to the representation of God or a deity. However, the most common use of rings today is the denotation of love in engagements and weddings.

In the past, wedding rings signified a promise or contract between a couple and their two families. They were also tokens or even security deposits that showed a man’s promise was “good as gold.”

The Meaning of Wedding Rings Today

In recent decades, wedding rings have evolved into statements of individuality and partnership. Both wedding rings and engagement rings are now wedding staples, not just in Western countries, but in any country where couples want an outward token of their love, commitment, and fidelity.

Wedding rings symbolize eternal love and commitment within a marriage relationship. This emblem of love is exchanged between two people on their wedding day and worn to show the world (and a diety for some) that they are married. During the wedding service, the couple will generally say their marital vows to each other while exchanging rings. The vows include a promise to love each other, be committed and faithful, and honor their marriage covenants with total fidelity forever. A wedding ring symbolizes those promises. Some couples choose to engrave their wedding rings to incorporate a personal message expressing their commitment and fidelity to their spouse.

From Marital Rings of Fidelity to Infidelity

Why then do married couples so easily betray their spouses and selves through infidelity? Why do cheating and unfaithful spouses then wear a wedding ring symbolizing commitment, love, honor, integrity, and devotion and not honor it? At the time of their wedding, the spouse who would eventually commit infidelity freely entered a marriage covenant of total fidelity and did so with a ring symbolizing the covenant of devotion, fidelity, and eternity. Many of those marriages were done in a religious setting where their marital covenants and vows were also made with God or a deity.

Despite there now being different types, forms, definitions, and degrees for what infidelity is — there’s no denying what infidelity is. We all inherently recognize infidelity when we see it or hear it. Infidelity is the action or state of being unfaithful to a spouse or other committed sexual partner. Infidelity is based on dishonor, distrust, disloyalty, irresponsibility, lies, and deceit. Sustainable relationships, marriage or otherwise, are not built on the foundations of infidelity. Affairs are built on infidelity and eventually crumble.

Fidelity is, on the other hand, faithfulness to a person, cause, or belief, demonstrated by continuing loyalty and support. Fidelity is based on honor, trust, loyalty, responsibility, truth, and honesty. Sustainable relationships, marriage or otherwise, are built on the foundations of fidelity. Wedding or marriage rings are an outward expression of an inward commitment.

Key Takeaways

Even today, couples willingly enter into the covenants and vows of marriage committed to the idea of total fidelity to their spouse. Sustainable relationships, marriage or otherwise, are built on the foundations of fidelity and trust. What better way is there to enter into marriage and live out one’s marital life and potential? What ring offers the committed wearer more power than a wedding ring imbued with such commitment and fidelity?

Wearing a wedding ring represents marital vows and covenants of fidelity, honor, commitment, and love. Those who wear their wedding ring, consciously or not, are expressing a commitment to honoring these regardless of whether their spouse is or not. Choosing to honor those covenants also honors the children from the marriage.

It should come as no surprise that most U.S. marriages are plagued with infidelity and broken vows. Some studies suggest that 30 to 60% of all married individuals in the U.S. will engage in infidelity during their marriage. This unfortunately translates into nearly 80% of all American marriages being impacted by cheating.

The long-term effects of parental infidelity can run much deeper than future relationship behavior (i.e., cheating or not cheating). According to clinical psychologist Ana Nogales, author of Parents Who Cheat: How Children and Adults Are Affected When Their Parents Are Unfaithful, growing up in a family with infidelity has a lasting impact on children in terms of how they view their romantic relationships and their ability to trust future partners.

Nogales’ research found that 75% of children experience lingering feelings of betrayal toward their cheating parent, 80% say that infidelity shapes their outlook on romance and relationships, and 70% describe infidelity as affecting their general trust in others. As parents or prospective parents, shouldn’t children be privileged to have parents that honor marital fidelity? Don’t they deserve to grow up free of lingering feelings of betrayal, have positive outlooks on romance and relationships, and trusting of others? Wouldn’t the world be a better place for our children if we upheld marital fidelity and honor?

Recovering From Infidelity

If you have experienced infidelity-induced trauma caused by the emotional and sexual betrayal of your spouse, there is hope! If you are a child affected by parental infidelity, there is hope! If you are a spouse who has betrayed the trust, love, and fidelity of your marriage, there is hope! We recommend that you seek support through professional counseling and therapy as well as through groups dedicated to supporting you through this traumatic journey. You are not alone and recovery and healing are possible!

Share Your Story

The CHADIE Foundation shares personal stories of spouses and children impacted by infidelity and affairs. If you have a story you would like to share and have published, please use the contact information below to share your story with The CHADIE Foundation. Our mission is to help educate everyone about the damage infidelity, affairs, and adultery cause families and how to minimize the impact.

About CHADIE Foundation

The CHADIE Foundation (Children are Harmed by Adultery, Divorce, Infidelity, and related Emotional trauma), helps spouses, partners, and children who have been negatively impacted by adultery, affairs, and infidelity. To learn more about CHADIE and how you can help, please email us at support@chadie.org or us at CHADIE.org.