In the Avengers: Infinity War movie, there is a compelling scene that has found its way into the social fabric of cultures around the world. It has also become a very popular meme shared broadly around the world. The scene? After securing the Soul Stone, Thanos found himself inside the world of the Soul Stone, where he met a reflection of a young Gamora, his adopted daughter. Young Gamorra asks him, “Did you do it?” to which Thanos replies, “Yes.” She asks, “What did it cost?” After a painful and solemn recognition, he replies, “Everything.”

As a childhood fan of comics and superheroes, I was impressed by how touching and yet sad the scene was. Prior to this scene, Thanos had made a terrible and irreversible decision. In his delusional pursuit of what he perceived to be his mission to balance the scales of life, Thanos was faced with a horrible dilemma. To secure the Soul Stone, he would need to sacrifice what was most dear to him. Something he loved above all else.

Thanos: Where is the Soul Stone?

Stonekeeper (Red Skull): You should know it exacts a terrible price.

Thanos : I am prepared.

Stonekeeper: We all think that at first. We are all wrong.

Stonekeeper: What you seek lies in front of you. As does what you fear.

Thanos : [on the edge of a cliff] What’s this?

Stonekeeper: The price. The Soul Stone holds a special place among the Infinity Stones. You might say, it is a certain wisdom.

Thanos: Tell me what it needs.

Stonekeeper: To ensure that whoever possesses it understands its power, the stone demands a sacrifice.

Thanos: Of what?

Stonekeeper: In order to take the stone, you must lose that which you love. A soul for a soul.

The sacrifice or the price that the Soul Stone required was the only thing Thanos had ever truly loved or cared for — his daughter, Gamora. While apparently pained with such a decision, Thanos resolved it was a price he was willing to pay so he sacrificed Gamora’s life to acquire the Soul Stone.

What We Are Willing to Sacrifice for a Soul Stone

The scenes are powerful in what they seek to convey. After securing the Soul Stone, Thanos found himself inside the world of the Soul Stone, where he met a reflection of a young Gamora, his adopted daughter. Young Gamorra asks him, “Did you do it?” to which Thanos replies, “Yes.” She then asks, “What did it cost?” After a painful and solemn recognition, he replies, “Everything.”

Thanos was willing to sacrifice everything. When faced with what he loved most versus what he wanted, he chose what he wanted over what he loved and cherished. Imagine that. Sacrificing what is loved over what is wanted. Thanos justified the sacrifice of his daughter, Gamora, for the Soul Stone.

There are not very many decisions that we can make in life that require such a sacrifice but there are a few. One such decision is to have an affair. An affair represents putting what one wants above what one should cherish and love most.

I have spent the better part of the last few years, observing close friends, family, and colleagues deal with the repercussions of their decisions to sacrifice “Everything” in the pursuit of their elusive Soul Stone. They literally sacrificed everything. I don’t say this casually. Most of them had loving families, children, wealth, success, popularity, and accolades but they desired something beyond what they had. They each pursued an affair that led them to adultery and the destruction of their lives and marriages. Most did it knowing the risk and the sacrifice required but oblivious to the real price their affair would require.

One such close friend, Kate, told me she and her affair partner, Will, had both talked about how they would eventually either be caught or have to come clean and confess to their spouses and children about their affair and adultery. They recognized and talked through “the price” but still pursued their affair anyway. They felt their affair was more important than their commitments to their spouses, children, family, and friends. However, when their affair was discovered by Will’s wife, the reality was much harsher than Kate and Will had reasoned and justified to each other in secret.

In their delusional view, Kate and Will were happy in their secret affair but they never really considered the toll their actions would exact on them, those that they loved, or on their lives. They didn’t really think about what “doing it” would cost in terms of “everything”. I spoke to Kate on several occasions. When her affair became public she was initially “numb and in shock”. She was forced to reconcile her actions and face her spouse, children, family, and friends. Her spouse and children felt hurt, betrayed, and angry with her neglect and selfishness. Her response to them was, “I am sorry you feel that way.” Kate went from being numb to being indignant and chasing her affair to escape the damage she had done to her family.

Kate and Will wanted the benefits of having a spouse and children while pursuing their extramarital affair. Both were in conflict and only one life would prevail. A year later, both Kate and Will were divorced from their spouses. Kate had on and off lived with Will but no final commitment was in place so she continued to use sex to keep his interest. They both had betrayed those they loved and sacrificed everything for an affair that was built on delusion and dishonesty. Those who knew Kate and Will best couldn’t believe they would be willing to sacrifice so much for so little.

What Did the Affair Cost? Everything.

So what is “Everything” that they sacrificed? They sacrificed marriages that had been founded on honor and integrity. They betrayed their spouses who had honored their marital vows and had shown total fidelity to their marriages. They sacrificed their close relationships with their children. Their children no longer “trusted” them because Kate and Will had lied to them. (Their children needed extensive professional counseling to help them work through their grief, anger, resentment, and fear.) They sacrificed their relationships with their extended families, friends, and neighbors. They sacrificed their integrity.

Where trust was once abundant, they had none. They sacrificed their emotional and financial stability. (Both Kate and Will ended up going to professional counseling. They also went to religious counseling to try to rectify their immorality and justification of their betrayal of those that they loved.) They both sacrificed their reputation with their families, church, friends, and community. While their friends and family still loved them they didn’t support the destructive nature of Kate and Will’s decisions. If this wasn’t enough, they destroyed “Everything” for an affair built on lies, deceit, and ultimate betrayal. Relationships do not flourish on foundations built on lies, deceit, and betrayal. This is what is meant by “Everything.”

In the end, Kate and Will’s Soul Stone journey and dialogue may have gone something like this:

Kate and Will: Where is the Soul Stone?

Stonekeeper (Red Skull): You should know it exacts a terrible price.

Kate and Will: We are prepared.

Stonekeeper: We all think that at first. We are all wrong.

Stonekeeper: What you seek lies in front of you. As does what you fear.

Kate and Will: [on the edge of a cliff] What’s this?

Stonekeeper: The price. The Soul Stone holds a special place among the Infinity Stones. You might say, it is a certain wisdom.

Kate and Will: Tell us what it needs.

Stonekeeper: To ensure that whoever possesses it understands its power, the stone demands a sacrifice.

Kate and Will: Of what?

Stonekeeper: In order to take the stone, you both must lose that which you love. A soul for a soul.

Kate and Will: We accept.

[Final scene]

Kate and Will’s spouses and children: Did you do it?

Kate and Will: Yes.

Kate and Will’s spouses and children: What did it cost?

Kate and Will: …Everything.

Recovering From Infidelity

If you have experienced infidelity-induced trauma caused by the emotional and sexual betrayal of your spouse, there is hope! If you are a child affected by parental infidelity, there is hope! If you are a spouse who has betrayed the trust, love, and fidelity of your marriage, there is hope! We recommend that you seek support through professional counseling and therapy as well as through groups dedicated to supporting you through this traumatic journey. You are not alone and recovery and healing are possible!

Share Your Story

The CHADIE Foundation shares personal stories of spouses and children impacted by infidelity and affairs. If you have a story you would like to share and have published, please use the contact information below to share your story with The CHADIE Foundation. Our mission is to help educate everyone about the damage infidelity, affairs, and adultery cause families and how to minimize the impact.

About CHADIE Foundation

The CHADIE Foundation (Children are Harmed by Adultery, Divorce, Infidelity, and related Emotional trauma), helps spouses, partners, and children who adultery, affairs, and infidelity have negatively impacted. To learn more about CHADIE and how you can help, please email us at support@chadie.org or visit us at CHADIE.org.