Today wedding rings can be the most romantic piece of jewelry that you’ll wear. They are filled with emotional significance, but this has been the case for much longer than you may think. There is archaeological evidence to suggest that ancient Egyptians were exchanging wedding rings as far back as 4000 BC.

While historic records are not complete, the first wedding rings can be traced back to the Ancient Egyptians when they exchanged rings made from braided reeds and hemp. They placed these rings on the fourth finger of the left hand as they believed that there was a ‘vein of love’ that ran from this finger directly to your heart.

It was the Egyptian pharaohs who first used rings to represent eternity. That’s because a circle has no beginning and no end, and reflects the shape of the sun and the moon, which the Egyptians worshipped. The Egyptians also thought that the open space in the middle of a ring represented a gateway to the unknown. The Egyptian ouroboros (oor-uh-boor-ros) rings portrayed a serpent swallowing its tail, representing the eternal cycle of things. The ouroboros is one of the oldest symbols in the world, and its name means “tail devourer” in Greek. Known as the oldest allegorical symbol in alchemy, the ouroboros represented the concept of eternity and endless return.

The Ancient Greeks and Romans also wore rings. Their early rings were made from leather, bone, or ivory. It was during this time that the tradition of metal bands began and iron wedding rings began being worn. For those wealthy, gold and silver bands were used to mark a marriage.

Engagement and wedding rings, in the past as now, symbolize commitment, love, honor, integrity, and devotion. Throughout history, rings have been used to symbolize everything from devotion, fidelity, and eternity, to the representation of God or a deity. However, the most common use of rings today is the denotation of love in engagements and weddings.

In the past, wedding rings signified a ‘promise’ or ‘contract’ between a couple and their two families. They were also tokens or even security deposits that showed a man’s promise was “good as gold” with regard to his intent and commitment to his future spouse.

The Meaning of Wedding Rings Today

In recent decades, wedding rings have evolved into statements of individuality and partnership. Both wedding rings and engagement rings are now wedding staples, not just in Western countries, but in any country where couples want an outward token of their love, commitment, and fidelity.

Wedding rings symbolize eternal love and commitment within a marriage relationship. This emblem of love is exchanged between two people on their wedding day and worn to show the world (and a diety for some) that they are married. During the wedding service, the couple will generally say their marital vows to each other while exchanging rings. The vows include a promise to love each other, be committed and faithful, and honor their marriage covenants with total fidelity forever. A wedding ring symbolizes those promises. Some couples choose to engrave their wedding rings to incorporate a personal message expressing their commitment and fidelity to their spouse.

As the years go on, many of these marriages are plagued with infidelity and broken vows. Some studies suggest that 30 to 60% of all married individuals in the U.S. will engage in infidelity during their marriage. This unfortunately translates into nearly 80% of all American marriages being impacted by cheating.

From Marital Rings of Fidelity to Infidelity

Why then do married couples so easily betray their spouses and selves through infidelity? Why do cheating and unfaithful spouses then wear a wedding ring symbolizing commitment, love, honor, integrity, and devotion and not honor it? At the time of their wedding, the spouse who would eventually commit infidelity freely entered a marriage covenant of total fidelity and did so with a ring symbolizing the covenant of devotion, fidelity, and eternity. Many of those marriages were done in a religious setting where their marital covenants and vows were also made with God or a deity.

Despite there now being different types, forms, definitions, and degrees of infidelity — there’s no denying what infidelity is. We all inherently recognize infidelity when we see it or hear it. Infidelity is the action or state of being unfaithful to a spouse or other committed romantic and sexual partner. Infidelity is based on dishonor, distrust, disloyalty, irresponsibility, lies, and deceit. Sustainable relationships, marriage or otherwise, are not built on the foundations of infidelity. Affairs are built on infidelity and eventually crumble.

Fidelity, on the other hand, is faithfulness to a person, cause, or belief, demonstrated by continuing loyalty and support. Fidelity is based on honor, trust, loyalty, responsibility, truth, and honesty. Sustainable relationships, marriage or otherwise, are built on the foundations of fidelity.

Dishonoring and Violating the Commitments of a Wedding Ring

For almost two years, I have spent a significant amount of time researching and conducting interviews with unfaithful spouses who have committed infidelity and adultery for a potential book. My goal in the process has been to understand the nature and cause of infidelity. In one of my interviews, I spoke with Dee, a devoutly religious woman, who had been in an adulterous affair for some time. Even after the discovery of her affair, she aggressively pursued her affair with the intent to marry her married adulterous partner, Will. For most of her adulterous affair, Dee had worn her engagement and wedding rings. For almost six months after the discovery of her ongoing adulterous affair, she maintained the practice of wearing her engagement and wedding rings. Eventually, she stopped wearing the rings as she publicly pursued her affair with Will. She did this in part because her husband asked her why she still wore the rings dishonoring the covenants of fidelity while she continued with her adulterous affair as their divorce ran its course.

Her children also inquired as well until she stopped wearing the rings. A year later, as Dee’s ugly divorce was nearly final, she approached one of her adult children offering up her engagement and wedding rings to them for their future marriage. Her adult child rejected the offering of her rings. When I interviewed her adult child and asked about the offering of rings, her adult child acknowledged that the rings had been dishonored and violated by their mother and would not be rings they would like to take into their marriage. Her rings were worn during an adulterous affair that led to two divorces and family breakups and the associated memory with her rings was not something her child wanted to have in their marriage.

Why then would Dee offer her engagement and wedding rings to her adult child? Her efforts to convince her children that her affair was only an emotional affair aside, they knew her affair to be adulterous and sexual in nature due to the evidence obtained during divorce proceedings from her Facebook Messenger account, eyewitnesses, mobile phone records, GPS, private investigation, etc. verifying her lies. How does a parent actively engaged in infidelity then not recognize the desecration and defiling of her engagement and wedding rings? Unfortunately, such delusional thinking is all-to-common among many adulterous spouses.

Even today, couples willingly enter into the covenants and vows of marriage committed to the idea of total fidelity to their spouse. Dee’s adult children still aspired to such a standard. They desired marital fidelity and didn’t want to begin their journey with rings she had worn during her adultery and infidelity. They desired marriage and wedding rings that represented honor, trust, loyalty, responsibility, truth, and honesty.

Sustainable relationships, marriage or otherwise, are built on the foundations of trust, honor, integrity, and fidelity. What better way is there to enter into marriage and live out one’s marital life?

Recovering From Infidelity

If you have experienced infidelity-induced trauma caused by the emotional and sexual betrayal of your spouse, there is hope! If you are a child affected by parental infidelity, there is hope! There is hope if you are a spouse who has betrayed your marriage’s trust, love, and fidelity! We recommend that you seek support through professional counseling and therapy and groups dedicated to supporting you through this traumatic journey. You are not alone and recovery and healing are possible!

Share Your Story

The CHADIE Foundation shares personal stories of spouses and children impacted by infidelity and affairs. If you have a story you want to share and have published, please use the contact information below to share your story with The CHADIE Foundation. Our mission is to help educate everyone about the damage infidelity, affairs, and adultery cause families and how to minimize the impact.

About CHADIE Foundation

The CHADIE Foundation (Children are Harmed by Adultery, Divorce, Infidelity, and related Emotional trauma), helps spouses, partners, and children who adultery, affairs, and infidelity have negatively impacted. To learn more about CHADIE and how you can help, please email us at support@chadie.org or visit us at CHADIE.org.