Alcohol, as most know, is the intoxicating ingredient in liquor (spirits), beer, and wine. Alcohol causes intoxication. Alcohol (ethyl or grain alcohol) is produced by fermenting various sugars, yeast, and starches. Alcohol is a psychoactive substance that can affect physical health as well as mental well-being and stability.

While alcohol acts as both a stimulant and depressant it is technically classified as a depressant because it slows, or depresses, basic functions including speech, reaction, and movement. Alcohol also affects brain function and neural activity, impairing the ability to think clearly, altering perceptions of one’s surroundings, and affecting judgment.

When consumed, alcohol has an antidepressant effect — seeming to act like a stimulant rather than a depressant. Many people, who only drink one or two glasses of wine or beer, may only be experiencing alcohol’s stimulating effects. Once they consume more, however, they experience depressant effects as they lose coordination and start to take foolish actions. The depressant effects of alcohol get far worse when a person overdoses on alcohol, with results that can include vomiting, unconsciousness, and even death.

Much like cocaine and nicotine, alcohol is both a depressant and a stimulant. It has a dual effect on the body and mind in creating positive, seemingly uplifting effects initially — but once that stimulant effect wears off, the depression affects all parts of the body and mind. Alcohol produces both stimulant and sedating effects in humans. These two seemingly opposite effects are critical to the understanding of alcohol use, misuse, and abuse.

Science has long since established a link between alcohol consumption and various long-term health conditions like heart failure, brain damage, liver disease, and various types of cancers, the costs of maintenance and treatment for such concerns are equally as important.

Affairs Act Like Alcohol to Both Mind and Body

Like alcohol, affairs can be an intoxicating ingredient in a life of infidelity. Affairs can cause intoxication and act like a psychoactive substance that can affect physical health as well as mental well-being and stability. When people engage in affairs their affair has an antidepressant effect — seeming to act like a stimulant rather than a depressant. Affairs affect brain function and neural activity, impairing the ability to think clearly, altering perceptions of one’s reality, and affecting judgment.

Much like alcohol, cocaine, and nicotine, an affair is both a depressant and a stimulant. It has this dual effect on the body and mind of creating positive, seemingly uplifting effects initially — but once that stimulant effect wears off, the depression affects all parts of the body and mind. Affairs produce both stimulant and sedating effects in humans. These two seemingly opposite effects are central to the understanding of affairs and the impact they have on the person engaged in the affair, their spouse, their children, and their cheating partner.

Studies have established a link between affairs and various long-term health conditions like heart failure, brain damage, liver disease, and various types of cancers. Beyond this, the costs of maintenance and treatment for such health issues are equally concerning and impactful.

The Stimulant of an Affair

The very elements that create an exciting and intoxicating affair are what consume the relationship when it becomes a marriage. Such marriages begin on very weak foundations that eventually collapse under the strain of life. When the affair is at its peak, the “adultery partners” are blinded to the inevitability that the lustful romance consumes itself. While they imagine that they are the exceptions to an established pattern of human affairs — they are almost always wrong.

Some affairs may end up in marriage. Some that do end up in marriage may end in successful relationships enduring as healthy long-term marriages that last, but according to most experts, these are the exceptions that prove the rule.

The Hangover and Aftermath of Affairs

In most cases, both the perpetrator of infidelity and the victims can have serious mental and physical health consequences. Post-infidelity has been associated with depression, anxiety, and unhealthy coping behaviors such as eating disorders and substance abuse and misuse. Many mental health professionals also believe there are parallels between post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and what is being referred to as post-infidelity stress disorder (PISD).

Infidelity has even been associated with heart problems. Several studies have found that men who cheat are more likely to have heart attacks. Others may suffer from ‘broken heart syndrome’ — stress-induced cardiomyopathy which typically affects older women who have experienced emotional trauma.

For those who have been cheated on in a previous relationship or marriage, or had a parent have an affair, the effect can be devastating. Some betrayed individuals struggle to come to terms with infidelity because it’s linked to unresolved grief and experiences.

In addition to mental health issues, affairs can have sexual health implications. One study found that people in monogamous relationships and those who had multiple sexual partners had similar risks of STD (sexually transmitted diseases) and STI (sexually transmitted infections) transmission. In the study, the researchers concluded that this was due to infidelity.

Since several STDs and STIs are symptomless and can have serious consequences when left undiscovered and untreated, cheating spouses put their partners at great health risk through their promiscuity. This should not come as a surprise given the selfishness and betrayal of their partner and spouse.

The weight and burden that a cheating partner or spouse carries can be overwhelming in the end. They have inflicted harm on their partner or spouse, children, families, and friends. Some of the factors they need to contend with as a result of their infidelity and betrayal include:

1. The Guilt of the Guilty

A cheater might be happy with their lover but the guilt of hurting their spouse and children can cause great mental anguish, suffering, guilt, and sorrow. This guilt makes them emotionally weaker, decreasing their confidence level and self-esteem. This causes more stress and mental upheaval.

2. Fear of Getting Caught

Fear is a negative mental health state no matter what the cause is. The fear of getting caught in infidelity eats away at the person engaged in an extramarital affair. They keep thinking about what will happen if they’re caught, how it will affect their family, and what their friends and society will think of them. This fear brings mental and emotional instability increasing their vulnerability to anxiety and depression. Many will seek therapy during and following their infidelity to help them cope with their anxiety and depression but the act of infidelity itself undermines their mental stability and confidence.

3. Mental Exhaustion

The constant feeling of guilt combined with fear can leave a cheater extremely exhausted. Moreover, undue expectations from a lover can make things even worse for the cheating spouse or partner. All these factors combined create stress and mental pressure, adding to the feeling of emotional exhaustion. Plus, being romantically connected with two or more people at the same time can actually be quite detrimental to the mental psyche of the cheater.

4. Damaged Self-Esteem

Overthinking the repercussions of an extramarital affair can be extremely damaging to one’s mental health. One might end up seeing themselves as a culprit and take the blame for everything going wrong. This thought process can cause damage to their self-esteem and can increase the likelihood that they make other damaging decisions.

Final Thoughts

Extramarital affairs often lead to feelings of guilt, shame, and horror. Living secretive parallel lives involves tremendous logistical decisions to be made by those cheating. This dual lives approach can lead to fatigue, exhaustion, and burnout for cheaters. For cheaters who have consciences, fear of putting one’s marriage on the line, leading to emotional hurt for the spouse and children oftentimes causes extreme distress and depression.

There are, however, people who find the idea of adultery exciting and adventurous. They view it either as a coping behavior or as a break from their perceived monotonous life and routine. Needless to say, the emotional burden often weighs too heavily on them affecting their mental health, no matter what their justification for their extramarital affair is. Affairs, like alcohol, temporarily intoxicate and stimulate the cheaters but eventually crash into reality and then a depressant state. If you are engaging in an affair or infidelity, be forewarned about the depression that follows.

Recovering from Infidelity

If you have experienced infidelity-induced trauma caused by the emotional and sexual betrayal of your spouse, there is hope! If you are a child affected by parental infidelity, there is hope! If you are a spouse who has betrayed the trust, love, and fidelity of your marriage, there is hope! We recommend that you seek support through professional counseling and therapy as well as through groups dedicated to supporting you through this traumatic journey to recovery. You are not alone and recovery and healing are possible!

Share Your Story

The CHADIE Foundation shares personal stories of spouses and children impacted by infidelity and affairs. If you have a story you would like to share and have published, please use the contact information below to share your story with The CHADIE Foundation. Our mission is to help educate everyone about the damage infidelity, affairs, and adultery cause families and how to minimize the impact.

About the CHADIE Foundation

The CHADIE Foundation (Children are Harmed by Adultery, Divorce, Infidelity, and related Emotional trauma), helps spouses, partners, and children who adultery, affairs, and infidelity have negatively impacted. To learn more about CHADIE and how you can help, please email us at support@chadie.org or visit us at CHADIE.org.