In 1971, legendary English rock musician John Lennon released his classic hit song, “Imagine”. In “Imagine”, the best-selling single of Lennon’s solo career, the lyrics encourage listeners to imagine a world of peace, without materialism, and borders separating nations. The song ends with the following message:

“You may say I’m a dreamer. But I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us. And the world will live as one.”

While Lennon’s song inspires us to imagine a world of peace, without materialism, and borders separating nations, it serves to remind all of us that we can imagine and build a better world filled with peace, love, and kindness.

However, the question remains, how do you build a world full of peace, love, and kindness? At an individual level, where do you start such a daunting task? Where do you start with more than seven billion people on the planet? As complicated as it may seem, it is rather easy. You start with yourself. You start with your family. You start within your circle of influence and expand from there.

Imagine a World of Trust, Commitment, and Honor

Unfortunately, the world is plagued with distrust, selfishness, and dishonor. Infidelity is a notable contributor. The world is filled with infidelity and the impact that it has on spouses, children, and families. Generations of children are being raised in homes where infidelity scars them and their future.

When you establish a relational pattern of infidelity, your children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren may struggle with infidelity in the future. Infidelity impacts your legacy through time, long after you have passed away.

When children learn that their parents are untrustworthy, their ability to trust others can be seriously damaged. This damage and lost trust may make them overly suspicious, emotionally distant, or refrain from committing to a relationship. These children want to avoid being hurt like their parent was hurt by their cheating parents.

The research clearly shows how infidelity and affairs are immeasurably damaging to families and children. Of children affected by infidelity, Dr. Frank Pittman stated that the children who have grown up the strongest are those who had the chance to “deal with parental infidelity openly, as an error or a character flaw, rather than normal activity or an appropriate solution to a marital problem.”

Imagine Reimagined

I imagine that if Lennon had written his classic song “Imagine” in today’s world he might have modified it to something like this:

Imagine there’s no betrayal or infidelity. It’s easy if you try. No divorce or sorrow between us. Ahead of us, only honor, love, and fidelity.

Imagine all the people. Livin’ for today. Ah.

Imagine there are no hurt spouses, children, or families.

It isn’t hard to do. No hurt or betrayal to cry for. And no sadness for the loss of spouse and family.

Imagine all the people. Married and livin’ life in peace. You.

You may say I’m a dreamer. But I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us. And the world will be as one.

Imagine no infidelity, no divorces, and no hurt children. I wonder if you can. No need for sadness and shame. A brotherhood of man.

Imagine all the people. Sharing all the world. You.

You may say I’m a dreamer. But I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us. And the world will live as one. Living in a world free of infidelity.

Conclusion

The long-term effects of parental infidelity can run much deeper than future relationship behavior — cheating or not cheating. According to clinical psychologist Ana Nogales, author of Parents Who Cheat: How Children and Adults Are Affected When Their Parents Are Unfaithful, growing up in a family with infidelity has a lasting impact on children in how they view their romantic relationships and their ability to trust future partners.

Parents who have been unfaithful subject their families to bear the burden of their legacy of infidelity, with all of its relational distress, passing it unwittingly from one generation to another. This legacy of infidelity is a legacy of crisis and chaos that generations are left to deal with well after the act of infidelity.

We should all try to imagine a world without infidelity. We should strive for a better world where spouses, children, and families are not scarred from infidelity. How much better would the world be without infidelity?

Recovering from Infidelity

If you have experienced infidelity-induced trauma caused by the emotional and sexual betrayal of your spouse, there is hope! If you are a child affected by parental infidelity, there is hope! If you are a spouse who has betrayed the trust, love, and fidelity of your marriage, there is hope! We recommend that you seek support through professional counseling and therapy as well as through groups dedicated to supporting you through this traumatic journey to recovery. You are not alone and recovery and healing are possible!

Share Your Story

The CHADIE Foundation shares personal stories of spouses and children impacted by infidelity and affairs. If you have a story you would like to share and have published, please use the contact information below to share your story with The CHADIE Foundation. Our mission is to help educate everyone about the damage infidelity, affairs, and adultery cause families and how to minimize the impact.

About the CHADIE Foundation

The CHADIE Foundation (Children are Harmed by Adultery, Divorce, Infidelity, and related Emotional trauma), helps spouses, partners, and children who adultery, affairs, and infidelity have negatively impacted. To learn more about CHADIE and how you can help, please email us at support@chadie.org or visit us at CHADIE.org.