(The following article is a contributed article obtained through an interview.)

Dee had been having an adulterous affair with Will for months when her affair was finally discovered. Dee and her husband sat down with their children to explain to them before word got out more, that their mom was having an affair and that they were getting a divorce.

In speaking with her adult and minor-aged children, Dee explained that her adultery partner, Will, was an honorable and good family man. She told them he was religious and faithful in his religion and to his family. She also informed them that he was married with children. Dee explained that she and Will would get married and their children would live together and be a ‘happy family.’ Dee was so excited and sure her kids would also buy into her delusional affair ‘fairy tale’ until they started to cry, ask her pointed questions, and share their concerns with her, including:

“Mom, how could you have an affair?”

“Mom, you’re a liar. You betrayed all of us and have been lying to us for a long time.”

“Mom, you take us to church and you act like you are faithful but you just pretended to be and in the end, you lied to and betrayed all of us.”

“Mom, you taught us that marriage and fidelity were very important but you lied to us. How could you have an affair and destroy our family?”

“Mom, if you really love Will you wouldn’t hurt him, his wife, and his children by having an affair with him. If you love him you wouldn’t cause his divorce.”

“Mom, you don’t deserve Dad. He would never have cheated on you or been unfaithful like you are. I hope Dad finds someone better. I hope he finds someone who will be faithful to him — like you should have been.”

As you might expect, Dee was surprised that her children didn’t buy into her delusions and infidelity. They were shocked and numb to find out that their mother had betrayed their father and family for an unfaithful married man. They were crushed by her adultery, betrayal, lies, and deceit.

Closing Thoughts

Children typically love both parents and do not want to be dragged into parental infidelity or affairs — especially by a parent who wants them to support them in their infidelity. Loving parents should consider choosing divorce before infidelity and adultery to avoid dragging their children into their adultery and affairs. Too many children suffer from the bad decisions of their parents’ infidelity.

Recovering from Infidelity

If you have experienced infidelity-induced trauma caused by the emotional and sexual betrayal of your spouse, there is hope! If you are a child affected by parental infidelity, there is hope! If you are a spouse who has betrayed the trust, love, and fidelity of your marriage, there is hope! We recommend that you seek support through professional counseling and therapy as well as through groups dedicated to supporting you through this traumatic journey to recovery. You are not alone and recovery and healing are possible!

Share Your Story

The CHADIE Foundation shares personal stories of spouses and children impacted by infidelity and affairs. If you have a story you would like to share and have published, please use the contact information below to share your story with The CHADIE Foundation. Our mission is to help educate everyone about the damage infidelity, affairs, and adultery cause families and how to minimize the impact.

About the CHADIE Foundation

The CHADIE Foundation (Children are Harmed by Adultery, Divorce, Infidelity, and related Emotional trauma), helps spouses, partners, and children who adultery, affairs, and infidelity have negatively impacted. To learn more about CHADIE and how you can help, please email us at support@chadie.org or visit us at CHADIE.org.