(The following article is a contributed article obtained through an interview.)

After a year-long extramarital affair, I was finally heading into mediation for my divorce from my wife. My affair had been revealed nine months earlier. After the revelation, I had tried to work things out with my wife to avoid the divorce but she wouldn’t take me back so our prolonged divorce moved forward.

I had since made peace with my adultery and infidelity but no one else seemed to have other than my mistress. I had secured a law firm to represent me in my divorce that specialized in representing men in divorces. (I believed they would help me avoid going to court over my infidelity and minimize my child support and alimony.)

Since my divorce had been drawn out, I was anxious to settle it before going to court. My divorce was expensive and my mistress was pushing me to get my divorce settled so we could get married and ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after.

The day of my divorce mediation finally arrived. Because of COVID-19, the mediation was done over web conferencing software rather than in person. My mistress insisted on being present at the mediation and I relented. (She was a bit controlling but I had grown used to “her way” already). That morning, my mistress came over to my place after dropping her children off at school. She later left to pick them up from school and drop them off at their mental therapy appointments. (They were in therapy because of our affair and divorce.) She returned while they were at their appointment. When mediation ended, she headed back out to pick up her children and then went home to be with her family.

It was a grueling day of “legal mediation” and neither my wife nor I were willing to negotiate on almost everything so we had to reschedule our mediation a month later to finalize the mediation settlement. My wife was not happy about my mistress attending our mediation and in retrospect, it was quite insensitive and disrespectful to have my mistress there. I try not to think about it but when I do, I realize what a jerk I was to my now ex-wife and our children. The things we do and give up for an affair. It’s crazy.

Recovering from Infidelity

If you have experienced infidelity-induced trauma caused by the emotional and sexual betrayal of your spouse, there is hope! If you are a child affected by parental infidelity, there is hope! If you are a spouse who has betrayed the trust, love, and fidelity of your marriage, there is hope! We recommend that you seek support through professional counseling and therapy as well as through groups dedicated to supporting you through this traumatic journey to recovery. You are not alone and recovery and healing are possible!

Share Your Story

The CHADIE Foundation shares personal stories of spouses and children impacted by infidelity and affairs. If you have a story you would like to share and have published, please use the contact information below to share your story with The CHADIE Foundation. Our mission is to help educate everyone about the damage infidelity, affairs, and adultery cause families and how to minimize the impact.

About the CHADIE Foundation

The CHADIE Foundation (Children are Harmed by Adultery, Divorce, Infidelity, and related Emotional trauma), helps spouses, partners, and children who adultery, affairs, and infidelity have negatively impacted. To learn more about CHADIE and how you can help, please email us at support@chadie.org or visit us at CHADIE.org.