(The following article is a contributed article obtained through an interview.)

Adick was in his early forties when he started his affair. He had been married for more than fifteen years and had three children.

He pursued his wife during their dating and courtship. When he proposed to her he told he she was the only love he would ever want or need. They married months later. Adick’s wife worked to help put him through his lengthy school. His education program was long and because of his lower scores and grades, he had to apply to his program in a country with less stringent requirements. Eventually, he completed his program with the support of his loving and sacrificing wife.

His wife worked, took care of their children, and managed household responsibilities. After many years when he finally finished his program, they returned to the U.S. where he started work. This she thought would be where Adick would finally be able to not only provide for his family but also share some of the responsibility of caring for their children, helping around the house, and helping with financial planning and budgeting. To her surprise, he didn’t. His focus was on himself and his career.

As time went on, the physical and mental stress that she bore started to wear her down. She sought medical support and mental therapy. Adick simply worked in his career but seldom leaned in to support his wife or be a father to his children.

Adick was a workaholic and pornography addict. He didn’t have time for his wife and children. Seeing things were out of balance, Adick started a morning routine of exercise. Within a year, he struck up an adulterous affair with another married woman who was also seeking a distraction from her married life with children.

Adick told his mistress that he needed his affair for his children. He told his mistress that his wife was abusive and that the only reason he stayed in his marriage was for his children. Eventually, he and his adulterous mistress talked about marriage. He told his mistress that he would get 100% custody of his children because his wife was abusive and he wanted to protect them from their mother. His mistress told him she would be the best mother to his children.

Adick continued his adultery until his wife found out. Two divorces followed. In Adick’s divorce settlement, the truth finally came out. He wasn’t an engaged or supportive husband or father. Adick was literally ‘a dick’. Selfish and sexually driven he would say and do anything to get what he wanted. In the end, he asked for the state minimum, not the maximum, custody time with his children.

Recovering from Infidelity

If you have experienced infidelity-induced trauma caused by the emotional and sexual betrayal of your spouse, there is hope! If you are a child affected by parental infidelity, there is hope! If you are a spouse who has betrayed the trust, love, and fidelity of your marriage, there is hope! We recommend that you seek support through professional counseling and therapy as well as through groups dedicated to supporting you through this traumatic journey to recovery. You are not alone and recovery and healing are possible!

Share Your Story

The CHADIE Foundation shares personal stories of spouses and children impacted by infidelity and affairs. If you have a story you would like to share and have published, please use the contact information below to share your story with The CHADIE Foundation. Our mission is to help educate everyone about the damage infidelity, affairs, and adultery cause families and how to minimize the impact.

About the CHADIE Foundation

The CHADIE Foundation (Children are Harmed by Adultery, Divorce, Infidelity, and related Emotional trauma), helps spouses, partners, and children who adultery, affairs, and infidelity have negatively impacted. To learn more about CHADIE and how you can help, please email us at support@chadie.org or visit us at CHADIE.org.