(The following article is a contributed article obtained through an interview.)

After more than 20 years of being committed to my marriage, I was thrust into a divorce by my cheating and unfaithful wife. After a very lengthy and complicated divorce, I found myself wondering which stories of midlife dating would be true as I entered the dating scene again.

With good intentions, I had friends and family supporting and cheering me on during my difficult divorce. Each had a slightly different perspective on midlife dating which gave me cause to pause and think, “Did I really want to date again?” “Did I really want to give marriage a shot again given my wife’s betrayal of me and our marriage?” “Is it possible to find someone who was genuinely able to love and be faithful?” “Would I be able to find someone who would love and care for my children as much as I do?”

Even though I am still early in my midlife dating journey, I am pleased and optimistic with what I have seen so far. While I have seen women who are still deeply hurt and traumatized by the damage their unfaithful spouses did to them and their children, they are still early in their journey to recovery.

I have also seen women who have already journeyed victoriously through those same devastating storms of spousal abuse and infidelity. They are strong and resilient women who are happy and healed from their abusive and betrayed marriages. Women who have traveled traumatic trails of tears, fought to save and preserve their souls and families. Women who are stronger and better than the men who abused and betrayed them. Men who were not worthy of their former wife’s goodness and grandeur. These women have been through hell and back.

While my midlife dating journey is still underway, I am not as skeptical as others would have me be about midlife dating. For those of us who have been betrayed, we know ‘The Beauty of the Betrayed.’ We are the betrayed but it doesn’t define or limit us. We have risen from the ashes of our betrayed marriages. Like the fabled phoenix, we have risen from ashes and now rise to greatness. We are stronger. We are better. We are free from betrayers and our lives are beautiful!

Recovering from Infidelity

If you have experienced infidelity-induced trauma caused by the emotional and sexual betrayal of your spouse, there is hope! If you are a child affected by parental infidelity, there is hope! If you are a spouse who has betrayed the trust, love, and fidelity of your marriage, there is hope! We recommend that you seek support through professional counseling and therapy as well as through groups dedicated to supporting you through this traumatic journey to recovery. You are not alone and recovery and healing are possible!

Share Your Story

The CHADIE Foundation shares personal stories of spouses and children impacted by infidelity and affairs. If you have a story you would like to share and have published, please use the contact information below to share your story with The CHADIE Foundation. Our mission is to help educate everyone about the damage infidelity, affairs, and adultery cause families and how to minimize the impact.

About the CHADIE Foundation

The CHADIE Foundation (Children are Harmed by Adultery, Divorce, Infidelity, and related Emotional trauma), helps spouses, partners, and children who adultery, affairs, and infidelity have negatively impacted. To learn more about CHADIE and how you can help, please email us at support@chadie.org or visit us at CHADIE.org.