(The following article is a contributed article obtained through an interview.)

A few years ago, my friend Ash started following Dr. Jordan Peterson, a man who is both revered and believed controversial by many. Peterson is a Canadian media personality, clinical psychologist, author, and professor emeritus at the University of Toronto. At the time, Peterson had already begun to receive widespread attention as a public intellectual for his views on cultural and political issues.

In 1999, Peterson published his first book, Maps of Meaning: The Architecture of Belief, which became the basis for many of his subsequent lectures. In his book, Maps of Meaning, he combines psychology, mythology, philosophy, religion, literature, and neuroscience to analyze systems of belief and meaning.

In 2018, he published his second book: 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos which became a worldwide bestseller. Ash had started reading Peterson’s book, 12 Rules for Life, and found the book very helpful the rules and principles taught in the book and building her life and family on principles.

Ash eventually posted her thoughts on Facebook about Peterson’s book, the principles it taught her, and how helpful it was to her life. Through her Facebook posting on Peterson’s book, she struck up a relationship with a married man and within weeks their relationship became sexual and adulterous. A few months later their ongoing affair was discovered by their spouses and children and two divorces were quickly set in motion.

I had an opportunity to talk with Ash after news of her adultery came out. She confided in me that she loved her adultery partner and wanted a divorce from her husband. I asked how she could in good conscience be part of an affair that would cause two divorces. She responded, “My lover’s marriage was over anyway.” I responded to her with a question, “What do you think Jordan Peterson would say?” She seemed shocked and then fumbled around for words but couldn’t manage to say anything.

She responded, “Jordan Peterson isn’t perfect.” I absorbed her response and processed it. (It was surprising but illustrated her hypocrisy and indulgence in infidelity and adultery.) Of course, Jordan Peterson isn’t perfect — who would ever think he was perfect — or anyone was perfect for that matter? Ash’s response was a deflective one. Ash had been a huge advocate and supporter of Jordan Peterson for more than a year. She had read his book and knew his stance on affairs, adultery, and divorce but now that her actions were in direct conflict with his views and counseling, she disagreed with him because “Jordan Peterson isn’t perfect.”

As Jordan Peterson so appropriately puts it in his second book, “You do not have a life with someone when you have an affair with them. You have an endless array of desserts… You see each other under the best possible conditions… An affair is not helpful, and people end up horribly hurt. Particularly children — and it is to them that we owe primary allegiance.”

Share Your Story

The CHADIE Foundation shares personal stories of spouses and children impacted by infidelity and affairs. If you have a story you would like to share and have published, please use the contact information below to share your story with The CHADIE Foundation. Our mission is to help educate everyone about the damage infidelity, affairs, and adultery cause families and how to minimize the impact.

Recovering from Infidelity

If you have experienced infidelity-induced trauma caused by the emotional and sexual betrayal of your spouse, there is hope! If you are a child affected by parental infidelity, there is hope! If you are a spouse who has betrayed the trust, love, and fidelity of your marriage, there is hope! We recommend that you seek support through professional counseling and therapy as well as through groups dedicated to supporting you through this traumatic journey to recovery. You are not alone and recovery and healing are possible!

Share Your Story

The CHADIE Foundation shares personal stories of spouses and children impacted by infidelity and affairs. If you have a story you would like to share and have published, please use the contact information below to share your story with The CHADIE Foundation. Our mission is to help educate everyone about the damage infidelity, affairs, and adultery cause families and how to minimize the impact.

About the CHADIE Foundation

The CHADIE Foundation (Children are Harmed by Adultery, Divorce, Infidelity, and related Emotional trauma), helps spouses, partners, and children who adultery, affairs, and infidelity have negatively impacted. To learn more about CHADIE and how you can help, please email us at support@chadie.org or visit us at CHADIE.org.