(The following article is a contributed article obtained through an interview.)

A few months ago, I observed the anniversary of my divorce. It was an interesting moment and milestone in my life. At the time, I was preparing to marry my former mistress. While my former mistress and I were preparing for our wedding, I reflected on how my life had changed over the last year or so.

In some ways I am happy and in other ways, I am tormented by my affair and the pain it has caused my ex-wife and children. I pursued my affair in earnest. It dawned on me too late that I was running away from my wife, children, and myself with my affair. I just didn’t like my life, family, and myself. I wasn’t happy so I immersed myself in my work and escaped reality through pornography.

Even today, I struggle to rectify that part of my life now. I am burdened by my infidelity and betrayal of my ex-wife and children. I am reminded of Scrooge’s conversation with his deceased partner, Jacob Marley, in Charles Dickens’ book, “A Christmas Carol” when Scrooge is visited by Marley on the eve of Christmas. Scrooge sees the pain and suffering of Marley and says:

“You are fettered,” said Scrooge, trembling. “Tell me why?”

“I wear the chain I forged in life,” replied the Ghost (Jacob Marley). “I made it link by link, and yard by yard; I girded it on of my own free will, and of my own free will I wore it.”

How wise Charles Dickens was and how unfortunate a lesson this story is to me now. In no small part, “I wear the chain I forged in my affair. I made it link by link, and yard by yard; I girded it on of my own free will, and of my own free will I wore it. I wear it now in my new marriage. I wear it when I am with my former mistress and with my children whom I betrayed.”

Recovering from Infidelity

If you have experienced infidelity-induced trauma caused by the emotional and sexual betrayal of your spouse, there is hope! If you are a child affected by parental infidelity, there is hope! If you are a spouse who has betrayed the trust, love, and fidelity of your marriage, there is hope! We recommend that you seek support through professional counseling and therapy as well as through groups dedicated to supporting you through this traumatic journey to recovery. You are not alone and recovery and healing are possible!

Share Your Story

The CHADIE Foundation shares personal stories of spouses and children impacted by infidelity and affairs. If you have a story you would like to share and have published, please use the contact information below to share your story with The CHADIE Foundation. Our mission is to help educate everyone about the damage infidelity, affairs, and adultery cause families and how to minimize the impact.

About the CHADIE Foundation

The CHADIE Foundation (Children are Harmed by Adultery, Divorce, Infidelity, and related Emotional trauma), helps spouses, partners, and children who adultery, affairs, and infidelity have negatively impacted. To learn more about CHADIE and how you can help, please email us at support@chadie.org or visit us at CHADIE.org.