(The following article is a contributed article obtained through an interview.)

It’s been a few years now since my divorce and I am on my way to recovery. My ex-husband’s decision to “quiet quit” our marriage still haunts me and our children but lessens with time.

Over the last year or two, there has been a lot of talk about how employees have been “quiet quitting” their jobs. Quiet quitting doesn’t refer to quitting a job. It’s a bit confusing but “quiet quitting” means completing one’s minimum work requirements.

When someone is quiet quitting, they are not leaving their job. Instead, they are choosing to stay in their job. They do so believing that a basic commitment to the company and their role is sufficient.

I am not here to say that quiet quitting a job is right or wrong. It depends on the individual, company, conditions, and culture. However, in my past marriage, my husband “quiet quit” because he didn’t get out of our marriage more than he was willing to put in. From the beginning, I supported him through school by working, giving birth to our children, nurturing them, and managing the daily management of our children, finances, and home. His responsibility? He worked. His job was his real marriage and his marriage was just a side hustle. Nothing more.

My ex-husband put in far more effort for his job than he ever did for me, our marriage, and our children. His job always took precedence over us. In our marriage, he just went through the motions. We went to marriage counseling but the only thing he took away from counseling was I didn’t deserve or appreciate him. He could never acknowledge that he “quiet quit” our marriage and children for his career. He was blind to the fact that he defined his life by his job and the prestige he believed it brought him.

In the end, he chose pornography and adultery as a way to cope with his bad decisions and incomplete life. He blamed me then and blames me now for the breakup of our marriage. He broke his marriage vows and our hearts for pornography, adultery, money, and the “prestige” he felt he received from others for his career. He has since remarried but his heart is still on everything but his wife, children, and his new marriage.

As for me, I mourned the loss of our marriage and family for a time but eventually found a husband who loved my children and me. My new husband is a true partner in our marriage. I can only hope one day that my ex-husband finds his way to being the husband he should have been with me.

Recovering from Infidelity

If you have experienced infidelity-induced trauma caused by the emotional and sexual betrayal of your spouse, there is hope! If you are a child affected by parental infidelity, there is hope! If you are a spouse who has betrayed the trust, love, and fidelity of your marriage, there is hope! We recommend that you seek support through professional counseling and therapy as well as through groups dedicated to supporting you through this traumatic journey to recovery. You are not alone and recovery and healing are possible!

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The CHADIE Foundation shares personal stories of spouses and children impacted by infidelity and affairs. If you have a story you would like to share and have published, please use the contact information below to share your story with The CHADIE Foundation. Our mission is to help educate everyone about the damage infidelity, affairs, and adultery cause families and how to minimize the impact.

About the CHADIE Foundation

The CHADIE Foundation (Children are Harmed by Adultery, Divorce, Infidelity, and related Emotional trauma), helps spouses, partners, and children who adultery, affairs, and infidelity have negatively impacted. To learn more about CHADIE and how you can help, please email us at support@chadie.org or visit us at CHADIE.org.