(The following is a contributed article obtained through an interview.)

I was about a year into my emotional affair and several months into my sexual affair when my husband and my married lover’s wife found out about our affair. I knew it was inevitable that my affair would be discovered and I accepted it.

A few months before my husband discovered my affair, I started to borrow his new hybrid sports car to take my lover out. We would drive around, park, make out, and have sex in my husband’s car. It was exhilarating and new. I felt so free and alive at the time but I soon realized I was mistaken.

A few days after my husband discovered my affair, he put two and two together and asked me if I had used his car for my sexual affair. I told him I had. I could see when he asked that he was hoping I hadn’t but he wasn’t surprised when I admitted to using his car for sex with my affair partner. What I did see in his eyes was great pain and disgust when I confirmed using his car for sex with my affair partner. He then told me I could have his car in the divorce settlement.

At first, I accepted the car because I enjoyed driving it but the more I thought about it, the more I realized it would be a constant reminder of my husband and the pain and disgust I saw in his eyes when I admitted to using his car for my sexual affair. We eventually decided to sell his car in the end — for different reasons.

Looking back at my past marriage, I realize I caused great pain to my husband and my children. My actions caused divorces and set in motion a lifetime of sorrow and regret for me and my children. Among so many other things, what haunts me is how I used my husband’s car for sex with my affair partner. I used my car as well but that was my choice and my car. Using my husband’s car was my choice but not his. It was so hurtful to my husband.

My disregard for him and his car represented another level of disrespect that he honestly didn’t deserve. My affair was disrespectful enough. I didn’t need to heap more disrespect upon him by having sex in his car.

Recovering From Infidelity

If you have experienced infidelity-induced trauma caused by the emotional and sexual betrayal of your spouse, there is hope! If you are a child affected by parental infidelity, there is hope! If you are a spouse who has betrayed the trust, love, and fidelity of your marriage, there is hope! We recommend that you seek support through professional counseling and therapy as well as through groups dedicated to supporting you through this traumatic journey. You are not alone and recovery and healing are possible!

Share Your Story

The CHADIE Foundation shares personal stories of spouses and children impacted by infidelity and affairs. If you have a story you would like to share and have published, please use the contact information below to share your story with The CHADIE Foundation. Our mission is to help educate everyone about the damage infidelity, affairs, and adultery cause families and how to minimize the impact.

About CHADIE Foundation

The CHADIE Foundation (Children are Harmed by Adultery, Divorce, Infidelity, and related Emotional trauma), helps spouses, partners, and children who adultery, affairs, and infidelity have negatively impacted. To learn more about CHADIE and how you can help, please email us at support@chadie.org or visit us at CHADIE.org.