We’re all familiar with fairly recent news of ‘bigamy’ and ‘polygamy’ and the role they have played in the United States (U.S.) common and marriage law. Both are illegal in the U.S. and have been since 1882. Bigamy and Polygamy are the practice of having more than one spouse at the same time. Polygamy is often based on traditional cultural practices or religious beliefs.

Marriage, the divorce process, and other matters of family law are governed by state law. “Polygamy as a crime originated in the common law, and it is now outlawed in every state. In the United States, polygamy was declared unlawful through the passing of Edmunds Anti-Polygamy Act of 1882.” (Source: Cornell Law School)

“Since the 19th century, the practice of polygamy in the United States was subject to legal prohibitions, namely from the federal government. In 1862, President Abraham Lincoln signed the Morrill Anti-Bigamy Act into law, prohibiting the practice of bigamy.”

“Virtually every state has outlawed the practice of polygamy as an offense punishable pursuant to applicable criminal laws. Under California law, the act of bigamy is among the crimes listed together with other “crimes against nature,” and is punishable by up to $10,000 in fines and a jail sentence of no more than one year in a year. California Penal Code § 281 defines “bigamy” to mean “having a spouse living, who married or enters into a registered domestic partnership with any other person…” (Source: Moshtael Family Law)

Give Me Polygamy and Infidelity or Give Me Death!

All U.S. jurisdictions prohibit polygamy by invalidating marriages involving more than two spouses. State laws against bigamy — getting married to someone while still legally married to another person — are usually grounds for an annulment. Why are bigamy and polygamy illegal then?

The basis of the distinction between cultural and religious belief and practice can be traced to an 1879 decision in Reynolds v. United States, which involved an effort by the U.S. government to illegalize the then-current Mormon practice of polygamy (later repudiated by the mainline church) in the Utah Territory. The Court wrote:

“[W]e think it may safely be said there never has been a time in any State of the Union when polygamy has not been an offence against society, cognizable by the civil courts and punishable with more or less severity. In the face of all this evidence, it is impossible to believe that the constitutional guaranty of religious freedom was intended to prohibit legislation in respect to this most important feature of social life. . . . Can a man excuse his practices to the contrary because of his religious belief? To permit this would be to make the professed doctrines of religious belief superior to the law of the land, and in effect to permit every citizen to become a law unto himself.” (Source: Reynolds v. United States)

However, historically speaking, there are other reasons and social challenges with bigamy and polygamy. The discriminative behavior of the husbands and unequal treatment of their wives causes several mental health issues in polygamous families. These mental and health issues include jealousy, unhealthy competition, low marital satisfaction, lack of trust, and many other mental health problems.

A Slippery Slope of Inconsistency

In terms of infidelity and adultery, a voluntary sexual relationship between a married person and someone who is not their spouse, there is much more acceptance. While adultery is considered a violation of the commitment made in a marriage because it involves breaking the agreement of fidelity and exclusivity between partners, only a handful of states (16 to be precise) still have laws criminalizing adultery and fornication.

More broadly, Polygamy has been outlawed in most countries — with polyandry being practically completely outlawed. The United Nations Human Rights Committee has also long urged all countries to fully abolish the practice. This is because, according to the United Nations (UN), polygamy undermines the freedom of women to marry who they wish with free and full consent.

“Polygamy violates the dignity of women. It is inadmissible discrimination against women. Consequently, it should be definitely abolished wherever it continues to exist,” the UN Human Rights Committee Comment 28 states.

Most valid qualitative and quantitative studies suggest that infidelity and adultery have a very destructive impact on the families, spouses, and children betrayed through infidelity. Many of the issues cited against the legalization of bigamy and polygamy can also be cited against marital infidelity and adultery. Why then is marital infidelity not prohibited in all U.S. states and around the world then?

Isn’t marital infidelity an infringement on the cheated-on spouse? Their children? The effects of polygamy are also common effects of infidelity. These effects include jealousy, unhealthy competition, low marital satisfaction, lack of trust, and many other mental health problems. Both polygamy and infidelity also include the increased chance of sharing STIs and STDs with multiple sexual partners — without the prior knowledge of the spouse.

Complex Issues Require Honesty and Reasonable Discussion Space

While this topic should be brought to the public forum for debate and discussion, it may be years or decades before it happens. This article only allows a limited amount of words and time to discuss a complex topic. However, there are obvious inconsistencies in our society around bigamy, polygamy, and infidelity. These inconsistencies show some incoherence in their legal treatment and further divide and confuse the world population about them. The biggest victims are the children of families engrossed in bigamy, polygamy, and infidelity.

Recovering From Infidelity

If you have experienced infidelity-induced trauma caused by the emotional and sexual betrayal of your spouse, there is hope! If you are a child affected by parental infidelity, there is hope! If you are a spouse who has betrayed the trust, love, and fidelity of your marriage, there is hope! We recommend that you seek support through professional counseling and therapy as well as through groups dedicated to supporting you through this traumatic journey. You are not alone and recovery and healing are possible!

Share Your Story

The CHADIE Foundation shares personal stories of spouses and children impacted by infidelity and affairs. If you have a story you would like to share and have published, please use the contact information below to share your story with The CHADIE Foundation. Our mission is to help educate everyone about the damage infidelity, affairs, and adultery cause families and how to minimize the impact.

About CHADIE Foundation

The CHADIE Foundation (Children are Harmed by Adultery, Divorce, Infidelity, and related Emotional trauma), helps spouses, partners, and children who adultery, affairs, and infidelity have negatively impacted. To learn more about CHADIE and how you can help, please email us at support@chadie.org or visit us at CHADIE.org.