In an era of unprecedented self-indulgence, self-gratification, self-actualization, and self-realization — there is an alarming increase in depression. It seems the more we look exclusively for “our happiness” the more selfish we become. We become inwardly focused but outwardly selfish.

The rise in divorce, infidelity, and open relationships is leading many couples and families down a sad and hopeless path. When spouses make selfish choices and put their own interests, desires, and impulses above the well-being of their spouse and children, they set in motion terribly destructive forces within their families and their children. Infidelity is up at the top of destructive forces that tear families apart.

The long-term effects of infidelity go much deeper than future relationship behavior. According to clinical psychologist Dr. Ana Nogales, author of Parents Who Cheat: How Children and Adults are Affected When Their Parents Are Unfaithful, growing up in a family with infidelity has a lasting impact on children in terms of how they view their romantic relationships and their ability to trust future partners.

Nogales’ research found that:

• 80% say that their parent’s infidelity shapes their outlook on romance and relationships
• 75% of children of parental infidelity experience lingering feelings of betrayal toward their cheating parent
• 70% describe their parent’s infidelity as affecting their general trust in others

These are shockingly sad and dire statistics and outlooks for children negatively impacted by infidelity. As a society, if we heard parents bragging about how they planned on undermining or damaging the lives of their children, would we turn a blind eye to such maligned intent and behavior? Or, would we try to intervene on behalf of their children and be an advocate for them?

When we hear of physical or sexual abuse of children, our hearts are racked with sadness and we act to defend and protect the innocence of children. Infidelity is an abusive act against children and their faith in their parents, marriage, relationships, and their own mental well-being. If we can help prevent one family from infidelity, we help free a generation of children from infidelity and the bonds of living with:

• Infidelity shaping their outlook on romance and relationships
• Lingering feelings of betrayal toward their cheating parent
• Infidelity affecting their general trust in others

While children often suffer silently from the pain of parental infidelity, they don’t need to. We can be emissaries for fidelity and integrity in our own marriages and relationships and advocates of others doing the same. Most importantly, we should be advocates for innocent children.

Recovering From Infidelity

If you have experienced infidelity-induced trauma caused by the emotional and sexual betrayal of your spouse, there is hope! If you are a child affected by parental infidelity, there is hope! If you are a spouse who has betrayed the trust, love, and fidelity of your marriage, there is hope! We recommend that you seek support through professional counseling and therapy as well as through groups dedicated to supporting you through this traumatic journey. You are not alone and recovery and healing are possible!

Share Your Story

The CHADIE Foundation shares personal stories of spouses and children impacted by infidelity and affairs. If you have a story you would like to share and have published, please use the contact information below to share your story with The CHADIE Foundation. Our mission is to help educate everyone about the damage infidelity, affairs, and adultery cause families and how to minimize the impact.

About CHADIE Foundation

The CHADIE Foundation (Children are Harmed by Adultery, Divorce, Infidelity, and related Emotional trauma), helps spouses, partners, and children who adultery, affairs, and infidelity have negatively impacted. To learn more about CHADIE and how you can help, please email us at support@chadie.org or visit us at CHADIE.org.