(The following is a contributed article obtained through an interview.)

My father was unfaithful to my mother. His infidelity still traumatizes my mother more than 20 years later. Their resulting divorce split our family in two and has left deep emotional scars on my mother and my siblings.

Long before I married, I decided I would never cheat or be unfaithful in my marriage. My wife and I committed to each other that our marriage and children were our highest priorities. We both had seen our share of relatives who had ruined their marriages, and the lives of their spouses and children, all for variety and infidelity. It just wasn’t something we would allow into our marriage and family.

Over the 20-plus years of our marriage, we dealt with the ups and downs of marriage. We struggled with finances, health, work, social, and wayward children. Our marriage seemed like a good marriage but it wasn’t without its faults or shortcomings. However, what seemed to be typical wear and tear in marriage broke my wife down. Her mental toughness and resolve faded as did her commitment to our marriage and children. To my surprise, she kept much of this private and buried in her heart and mind. I eventually discovered her infidelity and affairs.

Years later, our divorce still troubles our children and has caused a deep rift in our children’s lives. Their mother’s infidelity has sown seeds of doubt in our children’s hearts and minds about relationships and marriage. Our children saw the downfall of our marriage as a confirmation that they may not be able to escape intergenerational infidelity. Who knows what the future holds for our children? Will our children manage through intergenerational infidelity? Will their marriages be honorable and free of infidelity? I can only hope and pray that their marriages are free of infidelity and divorce.

One thing I know for sure is that I lived through parental infidelity and I will persevere through my former spouse’s infidelity. While I couldn’t stop my father or wife from being unfaithful, I remain committed to being faithful in my new marriage.

Recovering From Infidelity

If you have experienced infidelity-induced trauma caused by the emotional and sexual betrayal of your spouse, there is hope! If you are a child affected by parental infidelity, there is hope! If you are a spouse who has betrayed the trust, love, and fidelity of your marriage, there is hope! We recommend that you seek support through professional counseling and therapy as well as through groups dedicated to supporting you through this traumatic journey. You are not alone and recovery and healing are possible!

Share Your Story

The CHADIE Foundation shares personal stories of spouses and children impacted by infidelity and affairs. If you have a story you would like to share and have published, please use the contact information below to share your story with The CHADIE Foundation. Our mission is to help educate everyone about the damage infidelity, affairs, and adultery cause families and how to minimize the impact.

About CHADIE Foundation

The CHADIE Foundation (Children are Harmed by Adultery, Divorce, Infidelity, and related Emotional trauma), helps spouses, partners, and children who adultery, affairs, and infidelity have negatively impacted. To learn more about CHADIE and how you can help, please email us at support@chadie.org or visit us at CHADIE.org.