(The following is a contributed article obtained through an interview.)

While many spouses may have challenging relationships with their mothers-in-law, I never did. My mother-in-law was a straight shooter. She had strong opinions, and views, and was consistent in her beliefs and principles. While I didn’t agree with her stance or view on everything, I respected her for being true to what she believed.

My wife really admired her mother and I understood that. Her mother was an anchor to her children and family while they were growing up and even as adults. She was the one parent they had who was involved in their lives. She loved her children and grandchildren. She spent time with them, cooked, and baked for them, and counseled with them. She was a strong warrior amongst women. She was a giver and fighter.

It was immediately evident when I first met her that she was a great mother and an example to her children. She reared her children with confidence because she knew who she was and didn’t need someone to validate her or her decisions. She raised her children to have high standards, morals, and confidence. She was a hero to her children.

When my wife started her affair, she avoided her mother like the plague. She knew her mother would not condone her sexual infidelity, neglect of her children, and her betrayal of me and our marriage. My wife knew her mother would not placate or accept her willfully ruining our family or her lover’s spouse, children, and family either.

Over the course of the first few months following the revelation of my wife’s adultery, her mother held her ground. My wife did everything she could to punish her mother for standing firm in her support of her grandchildren, marriage, and fidelity. She counseled my wife but my wife was angry and retaliated by lashing out at her mother.

Looking back at it now, I am sure my (now ex-) mother-in-law was stunned beyond belief. Her daughter had held her mother up on a pedestal for 40+ years of her life and now did everything she could to tear her mother down and blame her for being a bad mother and for not supporting her in her adultery.

When all of the dust settled, my wife and I divorced. Not only did my wife’s infidelity rip through our family and leave us broken and abandoned, but she also dragged her parents and siblings through an equally horrific hell. Through it all, her mother didn’t bend or yield. I can honestly say, the world would be a better place if more mothers-in-law were like my ex-mother-in-law. There would be less infidelity and adultery. Far fewer children would be hurt by parental infidelity. Wouldn’t that be a better world — a world where our children would feel more safe and secure?

Recovering From Infidelity

If you have experienced infidelity-induced trauma caused by the emotional and sexual betrayal of your spouse, there is hope! If you are a child affected by parental infidelity, there is hope! If you are a spouse who has betrayed the trust, love, and fidelity of your marriage, there is hope! We recommend that you seek support through professional counseling and therapy as well as through groups dedicated to supporting you through this traumatic journey. You are not alone and recovery and healing are possible!

Share Your Story

The CHADIE Foundation shares personal stories of spouses and children impacted by infidelity and affairs. If you have a story you would like to share and have published, please use the contact information below to share your story with The CHADIE Foundation. Our mission is to help educate everyone about the damage infidelity, affairs, and adultery cause families and how to minimize the impact.

About CHADIE Foundation

The CHADIE Foundation (Children are Harmed by Adultery, Divorce, Infidelity, and related Emotional trauma), helps spouses, partners, and children who adultery, affairs, and infidelity have negatively impacted. To learn more about CHADIE and how you can help, please email us at support@chadie.org or visit us at CHADIE.org.