(The following is a contributed article.)

In the globally popular Harry Potter book series, the series introduces the concept of Horcruxes. The nature and concept of Horcruxes were so terrible that they were kept secret from most of the wizarding world, and very few people were ever made aware of their existence. Horcruxes are objects in which a dark wizard or witch would hide part of their soul. To hide a portion of the soul, the wizard or witch must rip the soul in two.

Based on the series, Lord Voldemort, the most powerful Dark Wizard ever, fractured his soul several times to intentionally create seven Horcruxes. In Harry Potter Wiki, “A Horcrux was an object in which a Dark wizard or witch had hidden a detached fragment of his or her soul in order to become immortal. As long as the receptacle housing the ‘Horcrux’ remained intact, so too did the soul fragment inside it, keeping the maker anchored to the world of the living, even if their body suffered fatal damage. The Horcrux was considered to be by far the most terrible of all Dark Magic.”

“Horcruxes could only be created after committing murder, the supremest act of evil, as a means to tear the soul. The process for the creation of a Horcrux involved a spell and a horrific act was performed soon after the murder had been committed.”

“Given that Horcruxes were utterly precious to those who made them, there were usually protective measures made to prevent them from being stolen or destroyed, such as counter-charms and curses. Horcruxes were also extremely durable, and therefore only the most powerful and potent elements and magical spells of the wizarding world could truly destroy them, such as Basilisk venom and Fiendfyre.”

We eventually learn that not all Horcruxes are forcibly made. In Lord Voldemort’s pursuit of immortality, he sought to create seven Horcruxes with his fractured and damaged soul. However, by so doing he fractured and damaged his soul so deeply that only his Horcruxes protected him from being a mortal man with a maimed and diminished soul. Ironically, he also inadvertently created an eighth Horcrux in his demented pursuit of immortality.

From the Wizarding World, we learn, “During Voldemort’s attack on Godric’s Hollow, where the Potter family had lived, his killing of Harry’s parents inadvertently created another Horcrux, one that would dwell inside Harry.”

“This explained everything — why Harry’s lightning bolt scar pained him every time Lord Voldemort was up to something, why Voldemort had a psychic link to him, and why Harry could speak Parseltongue, a skill usually known throughout Slytherin’s lineage. When Harry was told his mother ‘died to save him’, he had no idea just how poignant this was. In killing Lily, Lord Voldemort created a Horcrux within Harry, creating a connection between them that one day be severed.”

“When Lord Voldemort eventually found himself face to face with Harry to finally kill him in the Forbidden Forest, he instead ended up destroying his last Horcrux, the final shield between himself and his inability to die.”

“In the end, Lord Voldemort’s Horcruxes ended up being his undoing, leaving him a husk of the Dark wizard he once was.”

Horcruxes and Marital Infidelity

While not a perfect analogy or metaphor, one can draw a reasonable parallel between “secret” Horcruxes and “secret” marital infidelity as follows:

• Marital infidelity creates damning Horcruxes for the spouses, children, and families it impacts. The unfaithful or cheating spouse “rips their soul and marriage in two” through their selfish acts of betrayal and infidelity.
• Each act of betrayal and deception is a violent act that fractures the very soul and marriage of the betrayer and family leaving them damaged and diminished. Betrayers lose themselves in the fantasy of infidelity. Their infidelity “houses” their fractured soul while their lies and deception act as “protective spells and measures” to protect their Horcruxes.
• Each living Horcrux is indelibly linked to but also scarred by the betrayer’s actions and their unstable “master’s soul”. The betrayer’s soul — the master’s soul — becomes unstable with each act or instance of betrayal and infidelity.
• Like Lord Voldemort, betrayers will do anything and everything in their power they can to protect their Horcruxes (or affairs) from being discovered. They often destroy any real or perceived threat to their Horcruxes.
• The more the betrayer pursues their infidelity and betrayal the more their soul becomes unstable and lost. Sometimes, it can take years or decades to see the damage and instability of their souls but their self-betrayal brings a heavy toll on their souls eventually.

As in Harry Potter, Lord Voldemort’s Horcruxes ended up being his undoing, leaving him a husk of the formidable Dark wizard he once was — so too does the unrepentant betrayer’s Horcruxes end up being their own undoing. However, the betrayer’s actions not only lead to their own demise but to the demise of their marriage, family, and the trust and confidence that once prevailed in them.

Recovering From Infidelity

If you have experienced infidelity-induced trauma caused by the emotional and sexual betrayal of your spouse, there is hope! If you are a child affected by parental infidelity, there is hope! If you are a spouse who has betrayed the trust, love, and fidelity of your marriage, there is hope! We recommend that you seek support through professional counseling and therapy as well as through groups dedicated to supporting you through this traumatic journey. You are not alone and recovery and healing are possible!

Share Your Story

The CHADIE Foundation shares personal stories of spouses and children impacted by infidelity and affairs. If you have a story you would like to share and have published, please use the contact information below to share your story with The CHADIE Foundation. Our mission is to help educate everyone about the damage infidelity, affairs, and adultery cause families and how to minimize the impact.

About CHADIE Foundation

The CHADIE Foundation (Children are Harmed by Adultery, Divorce, Infidelity, and related Emotional trauma), helps spouses, partners, and children who adultery, affairs, and infidelity have negatively impacted. To learn more about CHADIE and how you can help, please email us at support@chadie.org or visit us at CHADIE.org.