Sometimes there is a terrible irony in life. Some might say there is great karma in our lives and that what we put out in life through our actions, words, and thoughts often returns to us. Karma can come in the form of good karma or bad karma.

I’ve learned through a long life that I am not the easiest person to be around but I am also not the most difficult either. My husband wasn’t the easiest either but I chose him just as he chose me. I was faithful to him even when he wasn’t faithful to me. I stayed faithful until his infidelity made me realize that I didn’t have to stay in a marriage with an unfaithful husband even if I wasn’t the perfect wife or mother. His choices and infidelity were his own and his alone to own.

My son, on the other hand, was faithful to his wife even when she had a mental breakdown and stepped out on him on multiple occasions. He forgave her and tried to work through her mental issues until it was impossible. Before her mental breakdown, I considered her to be like the daughter I never had. Then, out of the blue, she cut off all relations with me and our family. She even made it difficult for their children to attend our family events and activities.

She essentially cut my son and their children off from us. She had mental breakdowns — physically and mentally abusing my son, getting angry and screaming at me and my other children, and cutting all ties with our side of the family.

So, as you might imagine, when my son was at an impasse and decided to divorce her after more than 10 years of abuse, I was happy for him and his children. I knew their divorce would be hard on their children — my grandchildren — but there was no fixing their mother’s choices. She had made decisions over the last decade that led her to a state of infidelity, betrayal, and discontent.

Their divorce took more than a year to complete. She made their separation and divorce as difficult for him as she could. She delayed the process, claimed she wanted to work the marriage out, and then defamed him when he hired a private investigator to help him with his divorce case.

When the divorce was in progress, my son’s ex-wife was so deep into her life of bad decisions that she even went back to her former affair partner and sabotaged his marriage so he would marry her. Even now it’s hard for me to fully imagine what a wicked and destructive mistress she became.

Happy Holidays!

During the Holidays, about a year after my son’s divorce, I went to the theater with one of my friends to watch a movie based on one of my favorite books. We arrived early but mistakenly thought the movie started at 1:00 PM. However, when we arrived we found out the movie had a start time shortly after 12:30 PM. We rushed to our seats.

Within a few minutes of sitting down in our seats, a hand reached out and squeezed my shoulder in an attempt to get my attention. I was in total shock — it was my former daughter-in-law. She was sitting a seat over from me. Right next to me was her former affair partner turned husband. She made small talk but it was as awkward and unwelcome as one might imagine as the movie was about to start. They acted like I was their friend but I could tell they felt as awkward as I did. Obviously for different reasons.

My ex-daughter-in-law and her affair partner made feeble attempts at making sitting by each other less uncomfortable but it didn’t work. I knew what they had done and had seen how their affair and adultery had hurt my son and grandchildren. I looked at both of them with a deep feeling of pity and sorrow.

On one hand, I pitied them. On the other hand, I was repulsed by them. Our interactions gave me a disgusting feeling. Had I already eaten my popcorn and soda drink, I might have vomited it all out in disgust. Seeing them together was a blatant display of betrayal and unfaithfulness. They both betrayed their spouses and children and they didn’t care at all when they did it or even now. They seemed to have no shame or guilt for all of the pain they had caused everyone. Not the least of which, is the shame and pain they caused my son and grandchildren. I pray my ex-daughter-in-law and her new husband sort through the mess they created and make the appropriate reparations so the betrayed can move on.

Recovering from Infidelity

If you have experienced infidelity-induced trauma caused by the emotional and sexual betrayal of your spouse, there is hope! If you are a child affected by parental infidelity, there is hope! If you are a spouse who has betrayed the trust, love, and fidelity of your marriage, there is hope! We recommend that you seek support through professional counseling and therapy as well as through groups dedicated to supporting you through this traumatic journey. You are not alone and recovery and healing are possible!

Share Your Story

The CHADIE Foundation shares personal stories of spouses and children impacted by infidelity and affairs. If you have a story you would like to share and have published, please use the contact information below to share your story with The CHADIE Foundation. Our mission is to help educate everyone about the damage infidelity, affairs, and adultery cause families and how to minimize the impact.

About the CHADIE Foundation

The CHADIE Foundation (Children are Harmed by Adultery, Divorce, Infidelity, and related Emotional trauma), helps spouses, partners, and children who adultery, affairs, and infidelity have negatively impacted. To learn more about CHADIE and how you can help, please email us at support@chadie.org or visit us at CHADIE.org.