(This is a contributed article.)

With time comes perspective. Time can also heal all wounds. What time can’t do is restore what has been taken or stolen from you.

During the first part of our marriage, we had a strong and loving marriage. We worked as one and shared in each other’s trials and triumphs. We were best friends and advocates for each other. However, that all changed with her adultery and the malicious deception required by her affair.

Up until I found out about my wife’s infidelity, I would have done almost anything for her. Indeed, I had for more than two decades. Even when I learned about her adultery, I felt I could forgive her for what is arguably the ultimate betrayal by a spouse and best friend. She gave her heart to another married man. She gave her body to him as well. This she did while pretending to be a loving and committed spouse and mother.

I gave her my whole heart and soul. I gave her my trust. I gave her my love. I gave her my past, and present, and was willing to give her my future. I gave her commitment and forgiveness. I gave her all that I was and would be. Through her betrayal, she violated our marriage and children’s futures.

What she stole from our family is our love, faith, and trust in her. She stole our happiness and family stability. She stole our family’s innocence and security.

Since her betrayal, our family has been reeling in what can only be described as constant chaos, discord, and dysfunction. Our children have been through therapy and cycles of estrangement.

She stole from me my ability to protect my family from the evil of betrayal and infidelity. She stole from me the ability to protect myself from unwanted and unsolicited exposure to STDs and STIs. She stole from me the intimacy and sanctity of our marriage. She stole my best friend and the decades of sacrifice for our family. She stole from me my faith in a committed and faithful spouse.

She stole from us most of our fondest and happiest memories together as a family. We no longer talk about the good memories we created together as a family. We can’t discuss them because they are too painfully tied to her betrayal. Some memories have even been overwritten by false narratives from their mother as she struggles to shift blame and justify her betrayal. She stole away our memories and intact family. We can’t even look at our family albums, photos, and videos without discomfort and great sadness. She stole our emotional and financial future and security.

Her selfish acts of betrayal and infidelity will forever echo through every corner and chasm of our lives and future generations. She broke our beautiful and brilliant family while also breaking her adultery partner’s marriage and family.

She desecrated our family unity and love for the affection of another married man. She broke his family as his misguided mistress and lover. She shamed us all.

She is a thief and a betrayer. Time cannot mend or restore what was stolen. We move forward — mourning what has been violently and irrevocably taken from our family — in search of better days. We will rebuild what we can and build anew what can’t be replaced. There is hope even in ashes.

Recovering From Infidelity

If you have experienced infidelity-induced trauma caused by the emotional and sexual betrayal of your spouse, there is hope! If you are a child affected by parental infidelity, there is hope! If you are a spouse who has betrayed the trust, love, and fidelity of your marriage, there is hope! We recommend that you seek support through professional counseling and therapy as well as through groups dedicated to supporting you through this traumatic journey. You are not alone and recovery and healing are possible!

Share Your Story

The CHADIE Foundation shares personal stories of spouses and children impacted by infidelity and affairs. If you have a story you would like to share and have published, please use the contact information below to share your story with The CHADIE Foundation. Our mission is to help educate everyone about the damage infidelity, affairs, and adultery cause families and how to minimize the impact.

About CHADIE Foundation

The CHADIE Foundation (Children are Harmed by Adultery, Divorce, Infidelity, and related Emotional trauma), helps spouses, partners, and children who adultery, affairs, and infidelity have negatively impacted. To learn more about CHADIE and how you can help, please email us at support@chadie.org or visit us at CHADIE.org.