(This is a contributed article.)

If you have been betrayed by your spouse, you have most likely been through the darkest of nights longing for the break of day. You’ve felt despair and sorrow so deeply that you feared it might consume you to ash. But they didn’t. Instead, mortally wounded, you wandered through the devastating ground zero that used to be your life. You wandered without comfort and solace.

Betrayal cuts so deep and savagely into your soul that every part of your being screams out begging for relief. No one, and I mean no one, can understand betrayal like the betrayed.

My journey through betrayal pushed me to the end of my limits. I had invested all of my energy and life into my marriage and family and never felt like infidelity or divorce would ever be a part of my life. I was committed to my marriage and children and while I could have chosen to be unfaithful at any point in my marriage, I didn’t. I knew all too well the cost of infidelity. I had seen how it damaged the lives of my friends and family. I didn’t want it for myself, my wife, or my children.

With all of that said, I can’t in clear conscience suggest that I was a husband or father without mistake or guilt. I tried to be the husband and father that my wife and children would love unconditionally, but I fell short more than I like to admit. No one needs to suppose that I was a bad husband or father. I wasn’t. But I was also learning ‘on the job’ as they say. I failed enough to recognize I fell short at critical times and junctures. That said, I never gave up trying to be better and that is what gave me hope for an enduring marriage and family.

As difficult as it has been to rebuild my life after betrayal and divorce, I have found that there is strength and victory in the trenches of the daily battle. I remarried not too long ago and have found that my companion is as committed to me, our marriage, and our children as I am. She is a battle-tested warrior who has also been through the darkest of nights and ugliest of battles. She is someone who puts God, our marriage, and our children first. Nothing is more beautiful and comforting to me than that.

If I could give but one piece of advice to those who have been betrayed by their spouse, it would be this: Hold out for hope. There is always hope if you hold out patiently to find it. There are others out there who have been through devastating betrayal too. They have been down the path you are going down now. The night is indeed darkest just before the dawn. Hold on until the dawn. Just hold on and see! Better days are ahead!

Recovering from Infidelity

If you have experienced infidelity-induced trauma caused by the emotional and sexual betrayal of your spouse, there is hope! If you are a child affected by parental infidelity, there is hope! If you are a spouse who has betrayed the trust, love, and fidelity of your marriage, there is hope! We recommend that you seek support through professional counseling and therapy as well as through groups dedicated to supporting you through this traumatic journey. You are not alone and recovery and healing are possible!

Share Your Story

The CHADIE Foundation shares personal stories of spouses and children impacted by infidelity and affairs. If you have a story you would like to share and have published, please use the contact information below to share your story with The CHADIE Foundation. Our mission is to help educate everyone about the damage infidelity, affairs, and adultery cause families and how to minimize the impact.

About the CHADIE Foundation

The CHADIE Foundation (Children are Harmed by Adultery, Divorce, Infidelity, and related Emotional trauma), helps spouses, partners, and children who adultery, affairs, and infidelity have negatively impacted. To learn more about CHADIE and how you can help, please email us at support@chadie.org or visit us at CHADIE.org.