Language is a beautiful thing. Language provides a system of communication that consists of a set of sounds, written symbols, and nonverbal communication that are used by people for communication. Language allows us to communicate, connect, share, express, feel, interact, learn, and love. There is, however, sometimes a dark side to language and communication.

In recent years, the term ‘micro-cheating’ has emerged in the public arena to explain ‘micro-level indiscretions’ and betrayals. The ‘qualifier’ of this cheating being ‘micro-cheating’ suggests that the cheating behavior is insignificant or minuscule. Meaning, it’s not important. In fact, it’s such a minor level of cheating it doesn’t warrant much attention. In other words, it’s like needing a microscope to even see the cheating — it’s just that small and insignificant. Hardly anyone would even notice they had been cheated on.

Admittedly, using ‘micro’ is an ingenious way of self-deception and betrayal. When a cheater can categorize their cheating and betrayal as ‘micro-cheating’ they have successfully deceived themselves — that such betrayal is minor and inconsequential. Adding ‘micro’ to their cheating is like adding a minor footnote to one’s behavior as a formal way of legitimizing their betrayal. However, when you take that logic forward it begins to unravel quickly.

Here are a few simple examples of the incontinuity and hypocrisy of ‘micro-cheating’ and how it unravels:

1. “Do I love you? Yes, I ‘micro-love’ you with all of my micro-heart!”
2. “Let’s not make a big deal about it. It was only ‘micro-sex’ and ‘micro-adultery’. Nothing more. It’s not like we fell in micro-love or anything.”
3. “Honey, my ‘micro-cheating’ is only an expression of my ‘micro-love’ and ‘micro-commitment’ to you. My ‘micro-cheating’ meant nothing. I could only ever ‘micro-love’ you!”
4. “Of course, I value you and our ‘micro-marriage’ and ‘micro-children’ more than my ‘micro-affair’. It was a ‘micro-mistake’ and meant nothing.”
5. “These last few months have been the best of my life. I want to live the rest of my ‘micro-life’ with you. Will you ‘micro-marry’ me? If you will, I promise to always ‘micro-love’ you and be ‘micro-committed’ to you.”
6. “Yes, you can ‘micro-trust’ me. I will always be ‘micro-honest’ with you.”

Language is a beautiful and powerful thing. It opens the world to us. It can also be used to facilitate propaganda and deception. It can be deliberately misused to deceive and distort reality. No matter how it is framed, cheating is cheating — even when you put the word ‘micro’ in front of it.

Recovering from Infidelity

If you have experienced infidelity-induced trauma caused by the emotional and sexual betrayal of your spouse, there is hope! If you are a child affected by parental infidelity, there is hope! If you are a spouse who has betrayed the trust, love, and fidelity of your marriage, there is hope! We recommend that you seek support through professional counseling and therapy as well as through groups dedicated to supporting you through this traumatic journey. You are not alone and recovery and healing are possible!

Share Your Story

The CHADIE Foundation shares personal stories of spouses and children impacted by infidelity and affairs. If you have a story you would like to share and have published, please use the contact information below to share your story with The CHADIE Foundation. Our mission is to help educate everyone about the damage infidelity, affairs, and adultery cause families and how to minimize the impact.

About the CHADIE Foundation

The CHADIE Foundation (Children are Harmed by Adultery, Divorce, Infidelity, and related Emotional trauma), helps spouses, partners, and children who adultery, affairs, and infidelity have negatively impacted. To learn more about CHADIE and how you can help, please email us at support@chadie.org or visit us at CHADIE.org.