Your husband cheated on you. You are understandably hurt, angry, sad, anxious, and numb. You may have been blindsided or you might have suspected your husband’s betrayal all along.

You may have even confronted your husband about his betrayal. Chances are, he downplayed it or even excused it as harmless. There is no such thing as ‘harmless infidelity’. Even if it was only a one-time indiscretion. Many cheating husbands argue, “Infidelity is fine if it doesn’t hurt anyone.” This ignorant and lazy argument might hold some truth if infidelity was between unmarried, childless, and emotionless individuals who had zero chance of contracting sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and sexually transmitted infections (STIs) from each other, but it isn’t.

Per the Cancer.gov website, “HPV is a group of more than 200 related viruses, some of which are spread through vaginal, anal, or oral sex. Sexually transmitted HPV types fall into two groups: low-risk and high-risk. Nearly all sexually active people, regardless of their sex, gender identity, or sexual orientation, are infected with HPV within months to a few years of becoming sexually active. Around half of these infections are with a high-risk HPV type.”

More often than not, women suffer from the indiscretions of their unfaithful husbands because their husband’s infidelity is undisclosed and STDs and STIs are left untreated. Even if your cheating husband were to take precautions or wear a condom, he could unknowingly bring a silent cancer into your body and life. In such cases, his infidelity could be your future death certificate — all so he could live ‘his truth’ to have ‘his affair’.

If you know your husband has had a physical affair, you need to pay close attention to your health. We recommend that you get a pap exam at least once a year. We also recommend having your physician run full STD (and STI) panels from time to time, especially if you suspect your husband has gone back to his mistress, is having sex with a new one, or with multiple mistresses.

If you have been betrayed, you can never be sure if you will be the unlucky one who gets cervical cancer. Human papillomavirus (HPV), the most common STD, is present in the entire sexually active population. (Exceptions include when two virgins marry each other and stay faithful to each other or when a husband and wife who were sexually active with others before marriage have been monogamous for at least seven years and the woman has had a clean pap exam for all seven of those years.)

As a betrayed spouse or mother, please pay attention to your health! Both you and those who love you depend on it!

Recovering from Infidelity

If you have experienced infidelity-induced trauma caused by the emotional and sexual betrayal of your spouse, there is hope! If you are a child affected by parental infidelity, there is hope! If you are a spouse who has betrayed the trust, love, and fidelity of your marriage, there is hope! We recommend that you seek support through professional counseling and therapy as well as through groups dedicated to supporting you through this traumatic journey. You are not alone and recovery and healing are possible!

Share Your Story

The CHADIE Foundation shares personal stories of spouses and children impacted by infidelity and affairs. If you have a story you would like to share and have published, please use the contact information below to share your story with The CHADIE Foundation. Our mission is to help educate everyone about the damage infidelity, affairs, and adultery cause families and how to minimize the impact.

About the CHADIE Foundation

The CHADIE Foundation (Children are Harmed by Adultery, Divorce, Infidelity, and related Emotional trauma), helps spouses, partners, and children who adultery, affairs, and infidelity have negatively impacted. To learn more about CHADIE and how you can help, please email us at support@chadie.org or visit us at CHADIE.org.