On occasion, we have some readers who take issue with articles shared through our foundation. We understand that some readers will disagree with some perspectives shared by the betrayed, betrayer, or children who have been betrayed. Some feel that some shared articles are one-sided. Others that they are judgmental. While others may feel guilt or shame for being involved in infidelity. And still, some are defensive and lash out in anger or frustration because they are reading articles that expose the painful reality of betrayal and infidelity.

To be clear, our goal is not to offend, only to educate. We believe the world would be a much better place to live, marry, and raise children if there were less infidelity and infidelity-caused divorce. Infidelity is a detrimental choice for spouses and children. We acknowledge that not all marriages will or should last. Some marriages were nothing more than a bad choice in the beginning. Some marriages are never nurtured and developed — resulting in a loveless relationship. Some marriages are neglectful, abusive, and lonely. We also acknowledge that as in life, people change in marriage.

What we do not accept or agree with is the misguided argument that infidelity is an acceptable way to end a marriage. We’ve interacted with and interviewed many who challenge the evidence that infidelity is detrimental and damaging to spouses and children. Their arguments are typically defensive and emotionally driven. They contend it is ‘their right and choice’, they ‘are stuck in a loveless marriage’, their ‘infidelity is harmless’, ‘children are resilient’, etc. When they can’t adequately defend their position with substance and facts, they fall back to “To each their own.”

“To each their own” is an idiom, that indirectly conveys its meaning, making it more difficult to understand than more literal phrases. “To each their own” means that everyone has the right to their own opinion. This is true, everyone does have the right to their own opinion — informed or otherwise. However, when people choose to disregard evidence, facts, and outcomes, their ‘own opinion’ is not a good argument, it is simply evidence that they choose ignorance over education and understanding.

It’s good to have an opinion. However, it’s better to have an informed and educated opinion based on evidence, facts, and outcomes. Ignorance isn’t bliss, it’s naive and detrimental to oneself and impedes personal progress and development. Intelligent dialogue about infidelity and its impact on spouses and children requires a willingness to look at the damage it is doing to couples and families.

However, there is another interpretation of “To each their own.” More accurately, it is a misuse of the phrase. Many use it as if it meant, “I’ll live my life the way I want to, regardless of whether there is a better or different approach to living.” This essentially means, “D*mn the facts, evidence, and results! I don’t want to change my erroneous approach or thinking.” This mentality represents an unwillingness to learn, develop, or grow. It is an intentional rejection of growth and progress.

Recovering from Infidelity

If you have experienced infidelity-induced trauma caused by the emotional and sexual betrayal of your spouse, there is hope! If you are a child affected by parental infidelity, there is hope! If you are a spouse who has betrayed the trust, love, and fidelity of your marriage, there is hope! We recommend that you seek support through professional counseling and therapy as well as through groups dedicated to supporting you through this traumatic journey. You are not alone and recovery and healing are possible!

Share Your Story

The CHADIE Foundation shares personal stories of spouses and children impacted by infidelity and affairs. If you have a story you would like to share and have published, please use the contact information below to share your story with The CHADIE Foundation. Our mission is to help educate everyone about the damage infidelity, affairs, and adultery cause families and how to minimize the impact.

About the CHADIE Foundation

The CHADIE Foundation (Children are Harmed by Adultery, Divorce, Infidelity, and related Emotional trauma), helps spouses, partners, and children who adultery, affairs, and infidelity have negatively impacted. To learn more about CHADIE and how you can help, please email us at support@chadie.org or visit us at CHADIE.org.