(This is a contributed article.)

As we all know, at the onset of COVID-19, many in the U.S. struggled with the resulting social distancing and isolation. Depression increased. Anxiety increased. Domestic violence increased. Infidelity increased. Divorce increased. It was a difficult time.

However, it wasn’t all bad. Some good things increased too. While exercising in confined areas like public gyms wasn’t advised, many sought outdoor activities to counter the prevalence of social distancing and isolation. At a local park, our early morning pickleball group went from a growing niche sports gathering to a phenomenally supported gathering. Many would get up around 4:00 or 4:30 AM to get to the park to get some court time before the COVID-generated crowds assembled for play.

I had just taken up pickleball before COVID-19 and enjoyed going to the park and playing with similarly minded ‘picklers’ at the park. Couples, college students, business professionals, teachers, bankers, work-from-home and stay-at-home spouses, widows, etc. played. It was a sport that was accessible to almost anyone. It was a unique and amazing time and experience — at least while it lasted. We all sought a healthy distraction from our COVID-19 woes and uncertainty.

A Game of Betrayal and Infidelity?

Eventually, the good times and memories were replaced with shocking stories of infidelity, affairs, and subsequent divorces. Some stopped coming to play because they didn’t want to be associated with a group meddling in affairs and divorce. Some stopped coming because their spouses didn’t feel comfortable having them participate in an early morning sport where unfaithful individuals sought distraction through marital betrayal and infidelity. Others sought out different parks where they could continue playing without the risk and stigma of infidelity and betrayal.

One particular cheating couple, suffering from COVID-19 isolation and depression, had started innocently enough as pickleball-playing partners. They would leave their spouses at home and meet each other as ‘early birds’ at the park for private practices, eventually crossing the line from pickleball partners to adultery and sex partners. Their secret affair continued for months.

Eventually, their affair and other affairs were discovered by their spouses and community. A wave of scandal and shock followed. Some affairs didn’t survive the news. Some marriages ended as a result of the news. As gossip and rumors go, the news spreads quickly and relentlessly.

Many of us stopped going to the park because of the affairs. More than a year later, I returned to the park hoping to renew friendships with those who left and eventually returned to the park after the infidelity scandals had subsided. Interestingly enough, one of the ‘defiant’ affair couples returned to the park as well. While they denied their affair, there had been several witnesses to contradict their denials and both of their spouses had divorced them. In the year or so following the revelation of their affairs and divorces, they continued to play at the park. However, they never attended the park alone. Always together. They were always partners but rarely partners with others even when they had the chance to partner with someone else. As many players and spectators would discretely say of them, neither cheater trusted the other to come alone or to play with someone else at the park.

The Unfortunate Reality

Trust is critically important in relationships. When you cheat, you are a cheater and untrustworthy. Your affair partner knows you cheated. You know your affair partner cheated. Even if you win the cheating game, you have to come to terms with whether you believe your cheating partner will be faithful to you when other opportunities to cheat come.

Recovering from Infidelity

If you have experienced infidelity-induced trauma caused by the emotional and sexual betrayal of your spouse, there is hope! If you are a child affected by parental infidelity, there is hope! If you are a spouse who has betrayed your marriage’s trust, love, and fidelity, there is hope! We recommend that you seek support through professional counseling and therapy as well as through groups dedicated to supporting you through this traumatic journey. You are not alone and recovery and healing are possible!

Share Your Story

The CHADIE Foundation shares personal stories of spouses and children impacted by infidelity and affairs. If you have a story you would like to share and have published, please use the contact information below to share your story with The CHADIE Foundation. Our mission is to help educate everyone about the damage infidelity, affairs, and adultery cause families and how to minimize the impact.

About the CHADIE Foundation

The CHADIE Foundation (Children are Harmed by Adultery, Divorce, Infidelity, and related Emotional trauma), helps spouses, partners, and children who adultery, affairs, and infidelity have negatively impacted. To learn more about CHADIE and how you can help, please email us at support@chadie.org or visit us at CHADIE.org.