I have been wanting to write to you for a while now

(This article is republished at the request of the author. The originally published article can be accessed here.)

Dear Jack,

I have been wanting to write to you for a while now but not sure if you really care since you’re dead. I wonder what part of eternity you are in right now. It is hard to reconcile some people saying that you were this great family man when so many of us know differently.

I wonder did you ever really love my mom, or did you just love the thought of having an attractive bride by your side to cook and clean for you? My mom was warned about you by your priest. I wonder if she ever told you that. She told me that you were spoiled rotten and were not allowed to walk until you were four years old because your mom always carried you.

Did you keep count of the lovers that crossed your path over the years or were they just simply another score? I read an article a few years back that suggested that once sexual intimacy takes place, a part of them stays with you for the rest of your lives. How did bedding so many women affect you and how did it affect them? Did you ever stop to think about it? My heart broke when my brother (technically half) said morosely that he didn’t know how many siblings he had. I didn’t even know how to respond to that. Did you ever think about how your actions affected your children?

Did you ever shed a tear over the hurt that you caused both of your wives? Yes, I know that you cheated on your second wife, despite her staying by your side for over 50 years. Yet even she was ashamed of being a homewrecker by refusing to acknowledge that your first child together was the result of an affair and lying about the number of years that you had truly been married.

I am sorry that two of your children died before you as well as a grandchild. I haven’t personally experienced this, but I know that it is the most devasting loss that anyone can truly experience and for that, I sympathize. But am I sorry that you are gone?! Not really. Another brother (when I expressed my condolences) even questioned if you were even human because of your actions throughout your life. I hate that my mom questioned over the years her worth, her beauty, and even herself because of what you did to her.

I don’t know if you can read this or if you even care, but I hope that maybe you are finally finding the time to contemplate your decisions and how many lives you have wrecked and that maybe, just maybe, you regret it.

Sincerely,

Not your biggest fan

Recovering From Infidelity

If you have experienced infidelity-induced trauma caused by the emotional and sexual betrayal of your spouse, there is hope! If you are a child affected by parental infidelity, there is hope! There is hope if you are a spouse who has betrayed your marriage’s trust, love, and fidelity! We recommend that you seek support through professional counseling and therapy as well as through groups dedicated to supporting you through this traumatic journey. You are not alone and recovery and healing are possible!

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The CHADIE Foundation (Children are Harmed by Adultery, Divorce, Infidelity, and related Emotional trauma), helps spouses, partners, and children who adultery, affairs, and infidelity have negatively impacted. To learn more about CHADIE and how you can help, please email us at support@chadie.org or visit us at CHADIE.org.