What is the impact, and can it be measured?
Have you ever wondered what the total impact on children affected by parental infidelity and manipulation in divorce situations is? Or how it impacts future generations? We have asked these and other critically important questions.
Can such things even be measured?
We decided to see if they could be measured. We decided to build a model of the total impact on children affected by parental infidelity and manipulation in divorce situations. To do so, we used available data to estimate the number of children impacted, the short- and long-term effects, and predictions about their relational and psychological futures.
1. Estimating the Number of Children Impacted
Baseline Data:
• Annual Divorces in the U.S.: Approximately 330,000 divorces occur annually.
• Percentage of Divorces Involving Infidelity: Studies suggest that infidelity is a factor in 20–40% of divorces. (This is generally understood to be conservative, given most couples may not report infidelity.) Using a midpoint, we can estimate that about 30% of divorces involve infidelity. This gives us roughly 99,000 divorces (330,000 x 0.30) annually linked to infidelity.
• Average Number of Children per Divorced Family: U.S. Census data indicates an average of 1.5 children per divorcing family.
• Based on this, approximately 148,500 children (99,000 divorces x 1.5) are affected by infidelity-related divorces each year.
2. Estimating the Scope of Manipulation
Prevalence of Manipulation in Infidelity-Related Divorces:
• Research on parental alienation and manipulation in divorces involving infidelity estimates that at least 20–30% of cases involve some form of manipulation aimed at alienating or aligning children against one parent (Warshak, 2015).
• Using the midpoint (25%), approximately 37,125 children (148,500 x 0.25) are subject to manipulation annually in cases involving infidelity.
3. Short-Term Impact on Children’s Relationships and Trust
Children who experience manipulation in divorce involving infidelity face various short-term impacts that can disrupt their development, emotional well-being, and view of relationships:
• Trust Issues: Manipulated children often experience confusion and mistrust. They may struggle to trust both parents, especially if they perceive conflicting narratives or feel forced to align with one parent.
• Behavioral and Emotional Problems: Short-term impacts include increased risks of anxiety, depression, aggression, and behavioral problems. A study from Baker and Fine (2008) indicated that children manipulated by one parent often show signs of increased stress and may exhibit issues with emotional regulation.
• Attachment Issues: Manipulation can disrupt secure attachments, leading children to form anxious or avoidant attachment styles. These disrupted attachment styles can affect their ability to form healthy bonds in the future, increasing their risk of unstable relationships as they mature.
4. Long-Term Impact on Children’s Relationships, Trust, and Life Outcomes
Children exposed to manipulation and conflict stemming from parental infidelity are at greater risk for lasting relational and psychological issues, many of which persist into adulthood:
• Relational Instability: Studies have shown that children who experience parental alienation are more likely to have difficulty in forming stable relationships as adults (Baker & Ben-Ami, 2011). They often struggle with commitment, may avoid close attachments, and face higher rates of divorce themselves.
• Trust and Intimacy Issues: Manipulated children are more likely to experience long-term trust issues, which can impact friendships, romantic relationships, and professional interactions. A study by Johnston and Roseby (1997) found that children of high-conflict and manipulative divorces often carry these relational difficulties into adulthood.
• Increased Mental Health Risks: The emotional stress of manipulation and family conflict increases the risk of long-term mental health challenges, including depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. According to a meta-analysis published in The Journal of Family Psychology (Amato & Sobolewski, 2001), children from high-conflict divorces are significantly more likely to develop mental health issues as adults.
• Self-Identity and Self-Worth: Parental manipulation can distort a child’s self-image, especially if one parent undermines the other’s role or character. This can lead to identity confusion and self-esteem issues, as children may struggle with loyalty conflicts and view themselves through a negative lens.
Predictive Model Based on Available Data
Given the annual estimates and documented effects, we can create a predictive model for the potential lifelong impact on children affected by infidelity-driven manipulation:
• Estimated Annual Number of Impacted Children: 37,125 children manipulated due to infidelity in their families.
• Percentage of Impacted Children Facing Long-Term Relational Issues: Research estimates that 60–70% of children exposed to parental manipulation carry relational issues into adulthood (Baker & Ben-Ami, 2011).
• This would mean approximately 22,275 children each year may face enduring relational difficulties stemming from manipulation in infidelity-related divorces.
• Increased Mental Health Risks: Up to 50% of children in high-conflict divorces develop some form of mental health issue (Amato & Sobolewski, 2001), meaning around 18,500 children annually might experience anxiety, depression, or other mental health challenges later in life.
• Projected Long-Term Costs: If each impacted child faces an estimated $5,000 to $10,000 in mental health costs over a lifetime, the economic impact could range from $92 million to $185 million annually, considering the cohort of manipulated children each year.
Conclusion: Projected Lifelong Impacts
Given the nature of infidelity and adultery and their secrecy, the preceding estimates are likely understated. Nonetheless, the numbers are startling and a reason for great concern.
• Family Dynamics: Children manipulated by an unfaithful parent may face deep-seated issues with trust and attachment that affect their ability to sustain relationships, with increased risks for relational instability and even divorce.
• Mental Health: A substantial number may struggle with mental health issues, adding both personal and societal costs as they may require long-term support.
• Economic Impact: Over the years, the cumulative economic burden of addressing these mental health and relational challenges in affected individuals is significant.
Through prevention, supportive interventions, and therapy focused on mitigating these impacts, some of these projected negative outcomes can be reduced, offering hope for healthier future relationships and well-being for impacted children.
Recovering From Infidelity
If you have experienced infidelity-induced trauma caused by the emotional and sexual betrayal of your spouse, there is hope! If you are a child affected by parental infidelity, there is hope! There is hope if you are a spouse who has betrayed your marriage’s trust, love, and fidelity! We recommend that you get support through professional counseling and therapy, as well as through groups dedicated to supporting you through this traumatic journey. You are not alone, and recovery and healing are possible!
Share Your Story
The CHADIE Foundation shares personal stories of spouses and children impacted by infidelity and affairs. If you have a story to share, please use the contact information below to share your story with The CHADIE Foundation. Our mission is to help educate everyone about the damage infidelity, affairs, and adultery cause families and how to minimize the impact.
About CHADIE Foundation
The CHADIE Foundation (Children are Harmed by Adultery, Divorce, Infidelity, and related Emotional trauma) helps spouses, partners, and children who adultery, affairs, and infidelity have negatively impacted. To learn more about CHADIE and how you can help, please email us at support@chadie.org or visit us at CHADIE.org.
The CHADIE Foundation 